After the Walmart tragic loss of workers to their leader's missed warnings of danger...

Thousands of people are trying to process the sudden loss of people who worked together at Walmart and are seeking information as to whether there were warning signs. Apparently one woman had filed a report in September about him asking rudely if it wasn't time for her to think about having kids, and also commenting that she was short and such to a point her mother felt concerned for her safety. He had a review but was put back in his role of a leader. When sharing on the comments about what could be done not only by management, but also workers, I offered the following.

There should be a way for a worker to take time off for two weeks of more to address concerns about being harassed from any job or relations or situation. The FOG, fear, obligation and guilt can cloud issues as can caregiving responsibilities for people, pets, projects and programs and plants and things....Everyone needs a team of back up folks to do parts of one's job and life...and then stepping away from unstable or difficult situations without threats of being fired or ending a relationship (if that's not one wants or can handle directly...)

A 'controlled separation " and list of ideas and people to talk to if something is troubling early on needs to be a shared set of options and many people would do more as witnesses to bullying and mental health imbalances if they had some basic training in awareness. I share a lot on this livfully.org blog in part due to hearing of the tragic headlines that claim over 600 lives to gun violence every year (that's 'in the mass shootings', of when 4 or more people are killed. The problem with using descriptive words rather than a code is it can possibly add to normalizing the kind of event as do many crimes which spell out problems 'chapter and verse' and how people could have not gotten caught...) 

A controlled separation which should be written out and signed by all parties with witnesses and even notarized and depending on the level of legal responsibilies, filed with a court if involving custody of children or others in need of care.

These acknowledged times and terms (for a day, a number of days or weeks and so forth) can help bridge such gaps and more free info online is helping do that for each stage of life, both supporting people and alerting them to challenges or coercive practices to take seriously.

All parents and work places, schools and other faith and group places could explore ways to help people 'take personal time' or have support in assessing needs and goals from another safe location (not their home or work place etc) with temporary or back up folks covering hands-on needs and direct care. Even Thinking About who could be a back up and properly trained with video coverage of routines and where things are stored and how a day flows can bring peace of mind.

Same can go for financial and legal contacts and responsibilities. Getting a POA, Power of Attorney is important to help keep track of one's life and goals should one have a temporary or longer setback. Thanks for pitching in to this idea of planning for safety and being responsible in teams at each stage of life from before having children, to during pregnancy and being an expectant parent or caregiver  (that's the partner and even the wider family of grandparents, relatives and caregivers.)

Working parents (mainly birth parents) could consider the effect of their activities (sitting or standing for long periods of time, having loud noise even such as on a game show with applause and noise that is live and loud) or loud music or other bells and bings ringing out. Smells from chemicals and stress are also important to try to avoid or minimize. It can be hard to 'think from the perspective of a growing human' but more info shows they are affected by more than we realized, including the emotions and such of the parent(s) and others nearby. Things like hot or cold water or temperatures and spicy foods and herbs (and of course alcohol and drugs of any kind, even antibiotics) should be studied more carefully before using lightly (without good reason...)

Hopefully people can find ways to relax, celebrate and balance their lives in ways that help them and their growing babies and kids have support for health and routines (not down to the minute but having smooth transition and calming ways to check in that life is going along nicely rather than feeling pressured helps all around. That may mean having an hour or a few times to prepare for the following week with clean clothers,  food planned and supplies needed for the day or work, and places to store things to more easily when leaving or landing in a new place (checking for how many bags, kids and important things like phones and checking in with folks as needed along the way.)

Texting or calling someone daily to go over plans can be a big plus and way to stay socially connected. Honoring intuition and keeping a friendship going over time can make life easier and lead to nice networking over time. Thanks for all everyone is doing and for communities to take all of these matters more seriously with shared game plans for safe travel, living, working, relating, parenting, and if needed, taking time apart or separating amicably with support for each adult and youth in a family, particularly during times of legal matter or time of conflict or stress, an event or change (of seasons, schooling, and more.) Lots of resources here to explore such as domesticshelters.org too!