Braving TheConversationProject.org (having That Conversation..about measures to extend life or allow for passing and everything in between)

If you want, skip right to www.theconversationproject.org to see what they say Before you read what I wrote by way of an intro, or continue as you like. Either way, good for you for 'taking the first step and Thinking about doing something or encouraging a friend or others to do so if you're all set...'

No one knows exactly how long they will live or moreover How they Might die. Most folks really don't want to think about it. Of course, if there are some rare cases of 'having a date to leave their body' (due to death penalty or perhaps really making a choice legally with 'end-of-life options' or illegally and not always getting the result one would want if ending one's life. then maybe some Do Know When one will pass.) That is not the norm and with all due respect likely we need to have more candid and caring conversations about such situations.

But what Everyone likely would benefit from is having a conversation about the kinds of medical assistance, interventions or other measures for comfort care one would like if facing a terminal illness or having a condition due to an injury or accident, crime or other turn of events leaving one in need of having a feeding tube, being shocked back to life, or other kinds of serious help, surgeries or interventions to stay alive.

The level of functioning mentally, socially, physically and so on is something that also may need some consideration. I haven't yet checked the site in the headline, www.theconversationproject.org yet hope to shortly. The Five Wishes is also a helpful insightful small booklet one can find online for a small fee. Likely other free forms are particular to each state through their health department or other governmental outreach. For most states, dialing 2-1-1 or looking online at 211.org there is likely a way to find out how to obtain forms or have basic questions answered. Suzanne O'Brien offers some basic ideas about having support and lining up end-of-life care and even planning for one's service after one's passing.

Online sites likely could help provide basic ideas as can professionals and even friends. It's breaking the ice about the topics which are not typically shared even among people in a faith group, social group or family group. Still with support and doing some basic research more 'difficult topics' can be normalized and even formalized so that everyone can feel they have a fall back plan. Likely it is easier for some than others, maybe older people than younger folks and more people could try to have a buddy system of sorts to gently keep each other on track. That could include aspects and plans of caregiving for oneself and others as life unfolds whether facing illness, moves, changes, social challenges or legal ones.

Having a will and health care directive (and representative) can likely give more more a sense of peace. Likely two witnesses, not including the person(s) names as representative(s) or alternate(s) is a standard to check. If a person has more than one will, generally speaking 'the last will approved by the person of sound mind' will hold, so that is important to know and to keep track of any updates. All papers should be easily located, maybe with directions in an envelope in or on one's refrigerator. If someone is a DNR (Do NOT Resuscitate) that needs to be clearly known by all caring for them and again, paperwork could be put on a refrigerator.

Depending on one's state, it is helpful to know what would happen IF an ambulance were called (or 9-1-1), as to whether they would honor a DNR or have to shock someone back to life. These are not easy scernarios to entertain yet very helpful to think through for peopel with terminal or serious conditions and for people in general. I would recommend having someone appointed to help one monitor one's mental health, social scene and functionality since if one is becoming compromised it may be hard to pinpoint or take precautions.

Driving or cooking could be important areas of review as well as keeping track of money, paying bills, and making appointments. None of this is given as medical or legal advice, so please consult professionals and others who are licensed to do so as needed. Some hospitals and other non-profits may offer help along these lines and the internet can be a helpful resource, but again check qualifications. Good luck and 'you're worth it' I believe my Mother would say to anyone on the fence, so go ahead and take a few first steps or a few more.

You can always modify things later and there is a fair amount to consider maybe over the course of a few months or even a year. But ideally something could be put in writing and people notified (including your doctor and those you name hopefully by checking first) with a copy of your paperwork, ideally with a one-page summary with basics for ease of use. All the best and now I'll get some rest (which hopefully everyone is seeking to do as well.) Thanks a bundle and here's a cyber hug or pat on the back for getting through this tricky but key topic.