Dwindling Freedoms but in the name of Safety, Laws and Supervision..Lots to think about Out Loud (on line anyway and ideally anonymously..)

Hearing about what a savvy parent was encouraging her middle school kids to say if they were feeling strongly about standing up for what they believed and for rooting for someone insulted, I shared the following. Any dicey topics (Level 3 I call them as I've made up basic categories of Level 1, 2, 3, and 4 etc) to give examples of ways to frame social interactions and conversations in person, on the phone, with email or in writing or other documents (such as legal statements or court documents, etc.)

Everyone can be informed early and often that life can have twists and turns.Whatever written evidence on a topic or person may be requested in a legal manner (a deposition for instance, or in divorce, custody or other legal matters and possibly mental health assessments.)

Liability laws can be rather vast and difficult to comprehend, but allegations and hearsay can even be grounds for getting legal matters going (and going.) Many people currently held in prison are there without being formally charged yet there without being able to make bail or other 'reasons.' So realizing that the arena of what is said and done as part of one's routine interactions in life can become grounds for breaking a law or allegedly doing so is important for all young children to hear.

Talking about bombs, or killing someone or shooting someone are all 'automatic reviews' if not serious intervention standards in most schools in America. On college campus settings, many are banning discussion of a 2-state resolution to the Israel-Palestinian conflict since it could be deemed 'anti-Semitic'.

I read about that in the past year or so, but the overall point is Defining Topics and the context of who and how they can be discussed is becoming the American 'way and law.' So while a young woman wanting to say they disagree with a person putting down a group of people, she (or he etc) would want to know if she is on safe ground and skilled enough to do so without 'escalating a conflict', using put-downs, or primarily supervised and clear about the 'terms of communication' for that or any other discussion.

That would go for all involved, thus more school and state wide education needed on communication. There's plenty to learn over years and decades...and more laws and such being written while I type. Preventing harm and becoming aware of communication and interaction guidelines and laws is the elephant in most homes, towns, schools and countries by the way...

The big point schools and parents need to convey is that freedom of speech is not free equally in all parts of America..It depends on the setting, the context, the speakers and much more. I blogged about this (and hope to find the exact post..) From all my training I would offer the following (a brief summary): 1--Whenever possible tell a story without identifying anyone (even family, friends etc...so that the points are held in a neutral light in terms of who said it;...and more focus on What Was Said or How It Was Conveyed. HIPPA Laws can pertain to many arenas and the unspoken or unwritten understanding is that unless people give permission they are expecting privacy in the short term and really the long term as well.

This will likely be a new area of discussion if not law for many to weigh in on. I have made plenty of ventures into that realm of sharing without realizing the ;unwritten laws...or social mores. That is not to silence ourselves, but rather to allow each person their life experience in a way that our modern world has developed over time...Sharing anonymously or without identifying people is a great first option..

.Things can be misread or misunderstood, people can feel violated whether they know that term or can explain the reasons why or not...so again, lots to ponder on that note.Another set of ideas to keep in mind and help all kids and adults realize is while everyone can have an opinion they don't really have full freedom to express that or even interact with people

. All businesses and even non-profits such as faith groups and libraries and clubs can have their own sets of rules and guidelines. In general, the Way something is said is as important as What is said...and many topics and interactions are 'against the rules So asking permission to speak to a person or write to them or meet with them (ideally in public or with others in view if not earshot) are the basics for interacting in professional or even student, school and casual social circles (dates, times of meetings or things needed--ideally all on a list so they can be accurate and remembered and shared with all who need to know whether online with an app or email, text or in writing on paper....) to more involved topics (having basic input, a vote, terms clarified such as visiting someone with an advocate or witness versus having a personal interaction, especially in a private setting or with children who may be needing extra monitoring such as during a custody or parenting time or other social interaction that is not secure necessarily...)

The Level 3 of Discussion or interaction, beyond simple terms or Level 2 of having more input and support to monitor basic meetings and interactions would be dealing with any controversial people or topics (the two can often go together.) The appropriate setting for that would be monitoring for all parties, agreement and supervision from adults if kids are involved, and clarification of acceptable terms for interactions (such as no name-calling, put-downs or insults..or people or ideas.)

Saying one does not see things that way, does not agree, would want to hear what the other person is thinking or basing their concerns on would be a way to explore the problem. Debate teams for instance work at promoting a view (often one they Don't Agree With) yet are all about building a case.If people feel their words must line up with their true intentions, debate teams would not be a good match..neither would acting necessarily. The Toltec views (as in The Four Agreements) by Don Ruiz is all about that kind of thing and so are most religious teachings. No one can yell "Fire" in a theater if there isn't smoke or fire and not break the law in America, for instance.

Context is important. Writing a play where people act out like youth or people in opposition without a sense of what is legal, appropriate and considerate is a good option to explore the ideas and emotions without putting anyone in harm's way or at risk of breaking the law... or escalating conflict over time.family: This delicate "slicing and dicing of what one can say to whom and when' is preventive medicine and the kind of stuff more schools and towns, states and countries could explore and fine tune so more people would realize they do have a right to Not Listen to Someone Who is Wanting to Talk to them anywhere and anytime...but they don't have the right to tell the person to stop talking altogether.

They can request or tell the person not talk to them and even pursue other ways to insist that is the case (and even legally seek protection if it's really a case of someone insisting they be heard in an abusive way.Harassment can be defined as someone violating a stated boundary, and if police inform someone of unwanted calls and interactions and it persists then an arrest can be made..and possibly a protective order put in place (mainly for people who live together or have kids together or are dating over age 17 or so..each state varies.)

Empowerment and clarification of boundaries is important. The kind of difficult verbal interaction among youth ideally should be disallowed; voluntarily or at least monitored by an adult who understands some of the bigger reasons to help people express their opinions without putting others down, threatening or antagonizing others... Now I';ll put all of this on my blog...(which I just did but had a virus come along from my FB post since something got onto my computer with an ad..so this took a lot more effort to clean up an post..but You're Worth It..and So Is Everybody Else so let's hope these ideas can be implemented sooner rather than later...)