Happy Winter Solstice as of Dec 21st, 2015 at 11:49pm, Happy Hannukah and Kwaanza from Dec 26th, 2015-Jan1st, 2016 and Merry Christmas on Dec. 25th, 2105 or a Day of Peace (like the UN-sanctioned World Day of Peace on 9-21 but different as in older)

In case people are wondering if I am thinking of them and ideas to share at this hustling, bustling time of year, I am! How can we inspire each other without feeling expired? Getting to bed without thinking of too many more things to do whether caring for ourselves and others or finding ways to enjoy the holidays or the winter season (with or without snow even in the North East now...yet some predict lots of snow in February similar to last year in 2014 when Boston was snowed in for a week or more.)

Cie Simurro has nice quarterly emails and promoted ideas from Hayhouse Publishing and newsletters to mark the solstice. She recounted the mantra of Marvelous Marv who is no longer walking the earth after a long life and having serious health challenges.

Still, he is remembered for telling people he was "Great!" when asked how things were. Why not find the silver lining she reminds us of any challenge?

Even in dreams when stressing one can usually find another word of wisdom (or with lucid dreaming direct new scenarios and outcomes, such as getting a lift from an eagle if falling or having a friend show up and help or give a message to an  issue. These are ideas from various thinkers such as Steiner who say those who have been in our lives before they've died can add insight to our life options if we simply ask one thing of one person before going to sleep and thinking of the response we may have gotten in a dream before awaking fully with open eyes.)

Here's a common scenario from someone, let's call her Jill,  to consider (see what it would mean if you had such a dream or real-life scenario to glean insights that may be helpful to you or others and echo the similar experiences people with common concerns whether living together or not may have) --someone clearing out a person's room of all their belongings, then the owner of said treasures (and schtuff) panicking and asking a friend to check and trying to wake up if it were just a dream.

This cycle repeated three times forJill in her dream.Jill  did wake up to realize everything was just a dream and  all was okay, without disruption while she was doing a lot for others.Jill mentioned this to the people who could possibly feel they could or should clean out her room and asked that they not entertain the idea. Lo and behold not a week later, they did just as the person had requested they Not Do.

They had their reasons and mainly 'meant well'...and a week or more of the owner's energy got zapped and confused by many of the problems that arose from them. Likely we could all take up some basic lessons in What to Do if That Kind of Thing Happens...and for all parties to understand the reasonable and legal options but also appreciate that if there are relationships to maintain, the law may not be the only recourse. Still, for the record, no one should feel they are 'above the law' and take actions that could violate them without serious consideration.

Tenant landlord laws as well as 'expectation of privacy' for people with private rooms (whether family, youth, paying tenants or guests, partners, etc) and domestic abuse laws (which vay widely and are applied in many ways sometimes based on someone feeling fearful or violated even if no violence involved. Property rights are also important to learn about and honor, though not always clear particularly among family, co-housing persons and so on. All the more reason to clarify one's expectations (and share in writing and even post for guests, etc to avoid problems, whether short-term or longer, officially or informally sharing a property.)

How would anyone want to be treated in such a situation? What options are there for moving things to storage or downsizing with support in terms of actually moving things, going through, making decisions, trying something out for a few days, weeks and months? What are the costs for doing something or for not doing something?

What kind of other issues may arise if someone is not open to surprises or in agreement? Feelings from the past for all parties may be triggered whether linked to the same kind of issues or relationship stories or to others for each party. While people do not have to listen to each other's concerns, often that is what a mediator or  other people wanting to help resolve such a conflict or issue could do.

People could write concerns down, that are directly related to the issue or that come up for any of them. Those are aspects of "Transformative Mediation' and are covered in a book called The Promise of Mediation. With facilitative mediation, when each party is clear about defining their needs and wants, a coach or mediator may offer compromises along with those that the parties come up with.

Again these things can be paced to be done in writing (emails or hand written, maybe with a secretary person helping to take notes or make a recording with both parties permission. If done separately then each person can listen after the fact (or even on the phone, again with a recording if that would help for review and of course with permission from both parties.)

The agreement to not sue people for what they say or how they say it is often part of the ground rules for discussing concerns in a mediation process. Again, that needs to be reviewed initially and by all parties interested in expressing opinions or weighing in on the matter.

Trainings for mediation (or other communication issues such as NVC--non-violent communication or even AVP-- Alternatives to Violence Program, both of which have resources online for free so worth a google.) Toastmasters on youtube like TEDTalks can give people examples of how to say things that may be challenging to discuss. Seeing people make their points (usually a few at a time with an example of each) can make it easier for another to understand.

Being clear and using short, direct words can also help carry a message others may be willing to hear. These are a lot of points all stemming from processing a situation that came up first in a dream and then almost in real life.

The silver lining was in staying away from the home and things until the person was able to process their own emotions (about three days) and then 'accept whatever the situation was' (and having gotten people to agree not to continue moving things during that time.) While some things were moved, most were not.

Eventually a bigger effort to downsize reasonably needs to happen and on a timeline that makes sense. Rooms only hold so much stuff (and considering size as well as weight is a tip from Your Money or Your Life with more people addressing clutter and organizational issues in meaningful ways.)

These should be surmountal problems or concerns yet likely cause plenty of people conflict hitting the high notes or costing time,, money, friendships, family ties and even spousal or other close ties.

Why not find ways to chip away at whatever common concerns come along, check what 'laws or protocol from the mental health or other departments may pertain, find funds or people power to help craft ideas and plan a timeline that works for all parties. and then implement accordingly'.

IF we could find ways to balance finances, personal and professional time, volunteer and caregiving efforts, things and writings (journals, letters and those other must-saves, like legal documents and more) maybe we would find more to celebrate and sing about during each season of the year and of our lives. 

Some silver linings may still be unfolding into the new year. Ideas from Katherine Miller on her next run of online tips of Menopause is a Trip, programs from Alan Seid on youtube and www.CascadiaWorkshops.com and Humanity's Team as well as David Adelson can all encourage us to keep thinking health is wealth and death is not the final act likely we thought it was (that'd be Edgar Cayce, Teachers of God, Christianity and many faiths, and Rudolf Steiner, so google the goods and enjoy the days wherever you are on Plan-It Heart with a Song and  Promise to seek peace amidst any problems...You are not alone..we are all one and there is Great Love backing us in our intentions and our dreams..hopefuly all good ones but worth heeding messages however they dawn on us!