Have you ventured into the "Lion-Brary" lately to read or use the computer?

Not everybuddy is ready to jump on the first lion they see resting outside a library or greet one indoors. Some are shy to go in a library and  check out a book or use the computer, are you? Maybe you don't read much or think there's much going on there. Watch out, the lions are prowling about just waiting to pounce on you with New Ideas, Friendly Faces, and Growing Experiences. To see these in person, one must make the time to venture forth to a new place, and ideally, with a friend if  it really is not something you have thought to do of late, go in with a positive attitude. 

There are great possibilities, especially as you go from town to town to fit your schedule and accept you may be there to help pave the way for others as well as yourself.  Being the 'new person' or even one who does not seem to have folks appreciating them for various reasons is likely part of everyone's life journey somewhere along the line. Ideally, more public places will fine tune their welcoming committee and even get volunteers to provide such features if the staff are just too busy or not quite there yet.

One or more people should not become 'scapegoats' or allowed to be dismissed over time 'just because it works for someone'. In time, everyone can tune into the reality of 'it takes a village' and sometimes it's a bit of work to fine tune agreements and plans for including people and being friendly 'just cuz that's about the right thing to do for the most part." Safety should be noted and again, a plan made for some clear way to help anyone feel they could speak to another person about concerns to avoid danger, anger or other difficulty from arising..more on this later.

If you have the time to go to the library in your community you may discover some great resources and even friendly folks to help you find some books of interest, or a DVD to use (watch out for late fees or rental fees by checking policies. Some circulate and must be returned to meet deadlines to ship out. Some libraries have late fees that add up fast: others are on an honor system. Make sure if someone is returning an item for you, or doing another errand for that matter, that they really do it and don't lose said item in their car.)

What kid wouldn't like to go on a "lion hunt'? There's actually a library called The Hunt Library, in one of the smallest towns in CT...and that's where I got inspired to see if there were folks 'lyin' around reading a book' in one of the cozy chairs or at story hour for kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Why not check out your own local gathering places with a friend or make a new one there by going to read the newspapers, use the computer, join a reading group, check out a book sale or other program such as an art opening?

In what ways can our libraries connect with our local schools? Some towns are designed for collaboration with shared funding for performances at a school or by being closely located? What needs of a community could dovetail nicely with the resources of a library or community center, or even local schools?

Perhaps special mother-child times or father-child times would assist parents in exploring the local resources together, starting with using library resources to enhance the school or homework studies. Other field trips could emerge as parents network with the librarians and recreation directors to learn about neighboring towns, the local history or cultural events.

Perhaps families could encourage each member to keep a journal of interests and field trips to recount their own tales of learning and adventure in their community. Drawings, stories and poems or games could be a monthly or semi-annual project to inform one another about worthwhile activities. School personnel and others may find it convenient to join in activities located in another public place. Many civic and faith groups could also follow suit and seek to co-create networks and support for all members of a community. 

A friendly climate to welcome everyone into the space of a library, school, faith group or other public area would be a helpful guideline. Newcomers may benefit from being introduced to people of a similar age and interest, particularly if they have children. Other venues for people to connect such as garden and photography clubs, nature centers and private school and other cultural offerings can round out the picture of where one's stomping ground.

Perhaps reading groups and other ways of sharing interests could be promoted at the local playgrounds and swim areas in the summer time. Song circles and sharing times to picnic for each grade can help families transition into the summer season and again back into the school year (and perhaps help some stay in touch over the summer, school breaks and weekends.

For more ideas about 'when a grade could have a gathering' feel free to reference the Happy 2014 blogpost about making a special day for each age, and find a corresponding day either by age or by grade, such as 1st grade on the 1st of a month, 2nd grade on the 2nd. Meeting in a public place, ideally at or close to a school (as one can get permission in advance and inform parents the event is not school-sponsored, unless one gets a PTA or other school sponsor to do so).

Holding an event from 3 to 5pm after school with parents having permission to supervise would be helpful for more students to attend. Ideally a recreation director or school leader could assist interested parents in using the space at school or finding other public space with appropriate supervision, similar to the 'safe church policies' used in most UCC programs or other guidelines such as in Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts. Getting to know the students in a child's class is helpful and networking with other parents can prove valuable over the years to assist every child's growth and support their interests. Carpooling, helping students with homework or developing interests, work and learning options are something more adults could team up to achieve.

 Daycares and other child-centered programs could do a lot to help parents feel valued, included and networked in meaningful ways. Sharing insights without using people's names can help people feel they are 'in the realm of normal' and have something to contribute even if they run into some difficulties along the way.

Find people who can assist with working through challenges of any kind, whether making calls and doing errands. Find ways to communicate with others in writing or in person (particularly if there have been intermittent or ongoing issues). Develop ways of making one's life more fulfilling, respectful and enjoyable. Sometimes a little something is needed to get the ball rolling-- a free program, a loan, a good show, some inspiration and focus. Try something new and work through 'fears' as 'inner applause'.

Feel the fear and do it anyway, as  appropriate, when it comes to addressing 'conflicts' or difficult people With Support. Just bringing someone along can go can help 'break some tension'.Whether going to a new place, a new group of people, or facing a challenge or conflict,  don't worry if no one returns a hello or seems to notice you, that can be 'one of those things' no matter where you go.Pretend your are shopping or in a special bubble of joy that no one can bust by a frown or being ignored. Not everyone is a 'people person', so keep hunting about.

Maybe more meetings, libraries, schools and groups in general could have folks or even stuffed animals (or posters) which could serve as Welcome Lions with a greeting and encouragement for you to introduce yourself  to a 'greeter on duty' and help with a 'meet and greet, assist with other introductions, and say goodbye in a friendly way as well. That is encouraged at Toastmaster meetings which has information about open meetings and many speaking points at www.toastmasters.org. Mnay good points are covered on various youtube talks about 'non-violent communication'  and effective communication for making requests, giving feedback, and reaching agreements. Worth some time on the computer.

Reviewing issues with a friend and one person who has had a hard time can help 'deactivate' thetension that may have been building between a certain two people. Even if the two really do not reach an immediate clear new set of terms for interacting, perhaps the way for each to 'co-exist' with common decency and respect can be opened up. This type of compromise can be explored by asking each person if they might be willing to consider reviewing their concerns' with a neutral third party.

Often people need or want to be heard, and the other person has not been able or willing to let them express themselves verbally, in writing or even through another person. That kind of 'cutting off' of communication is sometimes describes as stonewalling or road-blocking. While one person may feel stuck, the other person may feel content and even 'in control'. That may not be healthy in terms of allowing power to build up for one person while the other goes neglected. That is where having a neutral party or group in each organization or even each town would make sense to facilitate monitoring people's concerns respectfully. There are other ideas for building community with 'transforming power' from www.avpusa.org.

People who are having conflict or change such as during custody matters could review ideas from Coparenting books and websites. When people get clear that a child belongs to both parents, and that both can have input (if there is no abuse, controlling and power-mongering which children should be protected from with insights from www.endingviolence.com). More parents, if not all, could be aware that supervised parenting may be appropriate to help all parties understand boundaries that keep children safe, supervised and not poised as a pawn or prize but rather as person in their own right. Schools, libraries, day cares and faith and civic groups could all reinforce this message.

They could also assist with providing helpful 'parenting times' and places for parents to exchange their children, perhaps by supervising them for a half-hour between the children being dropped off by one parent and picked up by the other. Ideally, parents would be encouraged to leave youth in one special 'children's room' and not use the library or other place until the other parent had come to pick up their child. These are areas that would need more careful consideration. Most school and community leaders can appreciate the need to be aware of such arrangements whether made legally or informally as part of a 'parenting plan'. All parents could be informed that such practices are part of some children's lives.

There could be safety guidelines, such as described here, to facilitate this aspect of parenting or caregiving. Any adult or teen supervising children be encouraged to agree to follow safety guidelines and be aware of signs of disrespect or danger that they could report to an adult in charge at any facility, whether hearing of plans to do something that sounds risky (be off without adult supervision at a river or go off with a group of kids, go drinking, driving recklessly, using drugs, being dangerous to oneself or others, etc). Exchanging children can be a difficult time for children and for adults. That is not a time to discuss concerns which could be addressed on the phone or in e-mails or with help after one is not in a public place with children neaby.

The guidelines for expected attendance and behavior at any public venue could be described in a friendly manner, with a poster or brochure given to all people. Some places such as assisted living or nursing homes offer some events that are open to the public and others that are not. Same goes for schools, hospitals and other community venues. People need to be better informed about the 'unwritten policies' that any hospital or school may have regarding speaking to others in the building or even in the parking lot or on the grounds.

With HIPPA, privacy of all medical matters and personal matters need to be kept private. Even if a person shares their situation or medical condition freely, a person is not supposed to become involved on the hospital (or other similar setting) territory. One can make a call later if that seems appropriate.

The consequences for not following such 'unwritten protocol' or for soliciting someone with any kind of personal or even professional offer (free, or a job if one is trying to recruit someone, etc) can be met with a severe warning if not removal from the premises for life, with the allowance to return for medical issues only. This has happened, and is one of those other things 'no one talks about, but should, lest a new trend of exclusion and 'separate but equal' tactics arises more than the economic differences do already not only in every state, but in each town and likely even in each organization, family and group.

Back to thinking about 'seeing the world with new eyes'..Maybe you will find a surprise. Maybe you are full of great ideas..Jot them down and be careful who you share with, when and how you let the ideas flow. Hopefully, this could be safe place to do so, but I went to college for more than knowledge..I went to help me understand what makes people tick. Too bad we live in times where not only suicide bombers are ticking but many people walk around with challenging agendas for  who can talk and who can walk on which side of the street (and nobody warns the next guy, 'cept me at this point.)

There are many good folks out there and online, but many 'tricksters' (not unlike Trickster Coyote, who the Grumbling Gryphons (see on www.youtube.com) show us can spin a tale where we all may find wondrous beings and critters lying around like lions in the lion-brerries and other public places and parts of our neighborhoods..Hope you find the goods to help your growth and make your life journey worth living safely, respecfully and enthusiastically (or at least creatively and with some friends along the way).