Having Good Horse Sense in Life: Cambry Kaylor, Amazing Person with Grit...Rode Once Again After Paralysis...and Got Married and Had Kiddos

https://youtu.be/ILCDfIBn1fw Cambry thought the horse she finally climbed on after rehabbing from a paralyzing condition so she could work again was laughing at her for climbing up a fence to get on her. Cambry also shared that in college in anatomy class she studied a cadaver...rather up close and personally due to a chair giving way, thankfully when wearing goggles. She shares a lot about her life...can she live on her own, does she miss doing gymnastics on horseback...what if you could go back and not have that life experience.

In a heartbeat the young former gymnast horseback rider Cambry says, 
"Yes, of course!" But then she shares that living with paralysis "has taught me so much I wouldn't change that day..." She shares a sense of faith in something more than herself (God's plan not her own.) She did get married and have children, naturally. Her husband and she live by the Maori motto, "Mo Ake Tonu Atu", Forever and Always.

Seeing these kinds of talks have an added dimension for me, as maybe it does for most people in their 50s, especially parents and particularly Moms...since our teen son died in a 'freak turn of events', but really ones that were some I had tried to prevent with a few efforts working with other adults to have some 'safeguards in place about teens going to a river and particularly the Falls, which had tricky undertows we all learned about and resulted in a few teens getting caught in them.

 In  June of 2009, our son Kaelan Palmer Paton was able to save two before going in for a third. He reached that person and just today I thought of asking a medium who'd heard from Kaelan directly (not at our request) whether his effort was instrumental in saving his friend's life on some level..giving him hope to fight harder, directing him away from the most dangerous part of the current even briefly by giving him a push (which resulted in Kaelan going under and not resurfacing.)

The friend also went under briefly but resurfaced and then was saved by a rope rescuer who used his tree climbing ropes and was a volunteer in our rural area, getting the call and responding with only moments to spare befoe the second teen would have likely been lost as well.

There is a lot to learn about not only those final moments, but 'rewinding the sets of situations' for Kaelan and a few of the other key teens and Their Families and Their School Teachers and Friends and Administrators to reflect seriously on the factors of the event of that day and in general.  These kinds of difficulties play out 'like clock work' in every state and country.

Likely with some precautionary messages for adults and youth, those kinds of serious mishaps and accidents would be curtailed dramatically. There are no major efforts along these lines even though the headlines and gofundme.com site are full of tales of preventable accidents with better voluntary efforts and shared collaboration, agreements and follow through with all people taking accountability seriously.

Let's see what we can do to help people from this time forward, when we are all being given a special challenge and time to reflect and 'recraft clear safety plans' for people of all ages in terms of living safely, respectfully and reasonably. There are other posts on this blog and many sites that shed light on many aspects of this initiative.

Thanks for looking some of them over and considering joining in on a bigger level... letting me or others know of your interest, ideas, and even experiences 'you survived or someone didn't and yet upon reflection have insights about what was factoring into the downward spiral of danger and difficulty, whether over minutes, hours, days, weeks months or years.. There can be many complicating factors of course, but that just means using more 'collaboration across disciplines.

' That effort is one being explored in the underground civil war of domestic abuse and abusers gaining custody of children even when their mothers feel they are able and willing to leave or escape. We need to shore up many systems to warn women and children early on and often of the array of difficultied inherent in our modern world (carried over from hundreds of years of societal laws, faith, culture and more.) We can make strides almost overnight with the modern ways of communicating online and this time of 'counting not only who is who but where everyone is currently and in the foreseeable future.'

There are many things to cover in a short period of time and likely in creative ways (with videos acting out various small violations of bullying and teasing, excluding and neglecting, then spelling out what's what, various basic crimes of misdemeanors and felonies, and a crash course in 'relationship dynamics' whether between two people or more whether family, friends, colleagues, students, and so forth and moreso if it's of an intimate nature.

That's where many domestic abuse laws pick up (but not always since some are based on being parents or being married, although some pertain to any people living in the same household, not necessarily in the same room.) So again once we are aware of situations and problems, then we can fine tune the responses.

Let's see what the New Future Can Bring not only in terms of a recovery effort but of a renewed understanding of possiblity and empowerment. The other night I watched The Butterfly Effect which had lead characters names Evan and Kayleigh (a woman friend from childhood days.) They have lived through harsh times of sexual abuse by Kayleigh's father and violence from her brother Tommy who was jealous and overly protective of Kayleigh.

The movie shows 8 different versions of 'what if' Even could go back and change something that would lead to a different outcome. That is how one's mind may entertain not only trying to escape a tragic outcome but even things less pressing. The What Ifs of life are not futile but rather can be informative.

A team could be formed for instance to look at 'accidents and fatalities' that occur that could be reviewed by authorities in a community and state (and inform guidelines and suggestions) or even in divorce and custody matters that result in more danger and difficulty for victims (with again ways to inform teams of support to prevent that such as with Kaylee's Law in PA, not forcing visitation with unsafe parents and people.)

In these last few days hearing the name "Kaelan or Kaylee' has come up and than includes sadly the case in Florida where a young child was abused and killed by her family and not reported for weeks in the summer. I will look up the exact names again but have heard that 'we can never completely know if we are hearing the full story or the truth' so would offer that we pray for all victims of abuse, from infancy onward and even pregnant women (which unfortunately can be a time when abuse starts or escalates whether emotionally or physically and both are linked to patterns the can escalate and even lead to fatal injuries if not intentional killing of a woman and/ or her children (even if not by the father but by a 'boyfriend or other partner or step -father.)

Sadly there are many factors to consider and many are played out on television with some facts such as people having a troubled childhood and even being adopted or having bipolar being more at risk for harm of others or themselves. Not to single them out as 'the only people with such problems, and some say doing an ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) assessment and taking measures to heal from those is important to prevent difficulties with relationships and health. 

Many people in prison or being held in jail without bail end up doing time in solitary confinement or being abused by the other prisoners (especially if younger which some states are trying to remedy but sometimes again just shift to other realms where there are also gangs and abuse by others of the same age or slightly older.)

Some schools and states were allowing arrests of youth for minor offenses such as swearing or being physically assaultive, even if doing so in defense. The zero tolerance policies need to be explained to students and parents with a lot of coaching on how to assure students will comply and be unlikely to have a run in with the law. When it comes to driving the reality of legal responsibility  and the risk of being sued if not imprisoned if someone is injuried or killed by the driver of a car is important to highlight.

The actual cost of insurance and even buying, registering (and renewing registration, paying taxes and so forth) and having car maintenance and such for safety and functioning should be done from age 14 on to give youth a chance to comprehend the possibilty of learning to drive with a permit but not getting one's license until closer to 18 if not 20 (or later) to save money and to explore ways to study or earn money without having to earmark a lot for car expenses whether via a loan or having to pay costs directly.

Clarification about not drinking and being under the influence could include the reality that someone could have poor judgement and be assaulted in a relationship or by 'friends' or strangers. Alcohol is the number one date rape drug so everyone needs to be clear that if someone is impaired they cannot give consent. Someone taking advantage of such a person is committing a crime and should not blame the impaired person even if there are others hearing the person say they want to be involved. Then there are concerns if someone drives under the influence or is reckless with speeding alone or racing another person.

A car can go airborne, even by distracted driving and going off the road. Hitting a tree or going through a fence onto someone's property could potentially kill others as well as any in the car or seriously injure people. But without a clear plan to keep someone who drinks or is prone to reckless driving from doing so, the odds are they will feel they can and will do so from time to time if not in general.

Unfortunately that kind of tragic outcome is one familiar to most communities, sometimes with more than one fatality from a motor vehicle collision and often one that was avoidable. Driving in bad weather conditions or when there is FOG (and also emotionally when there is Fear, Obligation or Guilt, feeling one has to overextend oneself energy wise or do more driving than one wants) is also a problem to be on the watch for. Having people one can call to talk things over and other people who could provide rides or pitch in to pay someone for gas or time are all helpful idea.

That said only people who are strong, safe and savvy should consider helping out someone they feel may be unsafe or problematic..and that can come in a variety of situations. Keeping one's car locked and the key with a friend could help prevent being pressured into giving someone a ride. There are many such problems in a rural area or one without public transportation.

More on that is on other posts, and ways to promote safe driving and living in general. I'll put this post in park and wish everyone well with pursuing living in the light of fairplay and not in the dark of who know's what..Lots of good ideas about relationships on Iris Benrubi.com by the way and yet first off on LundyBancroft.com and Safe & Together Institute with David Mandel.