How have you Remembered Dr. Martin Luther King's March on DC in 1963?

Hearing President Obama and former Presidents Carter and Clinton) of the US-All speak about MLK Jr.'s leadership and dream of 1963 made this week and today inspirational for me, how about you?       Tune into www.npr.org to review their coverage and many offerings which help keep important news and ideas flowing on the radio/ internet. Until you try it, you won't know what you're missing.   

eanwhile, there is still time, whenever you read this to redouble our collective efforts, as MLK's son and namesake encouraged US-All to do to keep Civil Rights a reality for all people in our country and work to find ways to keep 1 out of 3 African American males from likely going to prison in their lifetime, where currently 85.000 are housed.

We all need to find ways to encourage connections among people who don't necessarily Think like we do, or act or speak like we do, yet hopefully are still living legally and responsibly, even if getting support from the system. Likely more people could make a living being 'independent consultants and social workers'.    

 Helping people feel cared to, listened to and linked up with key services could remedy many a crisis (or times we need to cry, 'Sis!") Light a candle and ring a bell to celebrate life and freedom with hopes that will resound around the world. Remember also the  mid-June 2013 tragic loss of a CT Manchester hero Brian Simpe who was shot and died at age 19 after trying to break up a conflict over a woman near a bar.    

While a 23-year old is being 'brought to justice' having recently been found in Florida, at Disneyland, there is much for US to think about to prevent violence, address conflict appropriately and be willing to learn and improve our responses to all forms of danger. Simple tips like checking for weapons even when visiting someone's home (to make sure they are appropriately locked up without bullets loaded)  and telling parents and other adults what one's expectations are for guns in a home (if one is even comfortable having a child visit someone who has guns, etc, and then being pro-active as communities to screen people entering schools, hospitals or other public places (with metal detectors or even a few people on a team to check someone's bags, etc as needed--considering the Houston father of a newborn who took his own life in the mother's room (not harming her and thankfully not when the baby was there, but still that was against the law to have a gun there.)     

The more we are willing to LEARN from these tragic situations, the LESS LIKELY it will be the 'same errors will be made or warnings will be missed." There are no guarantees, but being open to learning and willing to listen to someone who is having difficulties, someone who is upset (whether abusive or a victim) can be a key way to find supports and ways to intervene or plan for safety in ways that do not escalate a situation with police and severe legal involvement.

Still, there are times when 'the best plan is to have a TEAM thinking through safety plans, and to find ways to keep victims safe and get an abusive man a clear intervention and immediate follow through to leave the victim voluntarily before an arrest would be needed if reported.  Often, some evidence, such a witnesses who need to understand the importance of their cooperation, even if under 18 or related to the perpetrator, need to be clear about what they have seen or what they know while people are stil safe and alive.

Situations that linger for months and years, with escalating types of violence, put-downs, threats and isolation often become more dangerous if not deadly. Some people do not know each other and get into a conflict, but generally, violence happens in households, in families and among people who know each other. We all know this on a certain level but deny how stressful and damaging these things are, sometimes, just hoping conditions like mentall illness that is sometimes marked with violent behavior toward others (or even oneself) , drug use (ditto) and abuse (ditto again) will 'just get better with time' or will improve because the person will want to do better or is sorry in part (sometimes even apologizing or going to some therapy etc.    

Often that is only part of a cycle of abuse which buys him time to harm again when he is in the mood to do so or feels he is losing control over another person or his children.) People in all walks of life, from religion to school, from courts to town leaders, all need to want to make awareness of safety and activism to educate and protect people a priority. Every person could ask for a friendly phone call or visit, even an e-mail to help them find ways to ask for help for simple things or more complicated matters.   

 Perhaps other community volunteers could work in a coordinated fashion to help people with household tasks, childcare, self-care, organization and keeping medical and dental as well as mental health appointments a person may have ( or need help lining up). Growing services such as www.211.org and www.healthyplace.com and www.nami.org could help people get more support. Outreaches such as Primetime in Torrington offer mental health 'clubhouse' model for people who have a diagnosis such as bipolar or schizophrenia or similar brain condition.

Twelve step programs such as AA and Al-Anon are online and in most communities, with listings online. Getting friends and librarians to help one use a computer, or ideally if possible, even to use a phone to make calls could be a common initiative, perhaps with volunteers meeting weekly to help others in need.  

     A social worker, domestic abuse advocate, an educator and others could form an advocacy team for someone in need of such help. Yet it all begins usually with a person asking for help or being 'caught up in the system whether due to an arrest, a pregnancy/birth, a legal action such as divorce or custody, etc.  

   Let US-All think of ways to 'lend a hand while still on land' in terms of living amicably and with neighborly decisions. This could be a modern way of 'treating others the way we would like to be treated..or living by the Golden Rule which promoted such wisdom and common sense (almost mistyped that as condom sense, but that too!).