Recounting the magical sparks of love over a lifetime...in memory of the sweetness of youth, the bravery of a heroic teen and appreciation for our growth as communities
everyone chiming in here or over the years (and all who attended his Memorial Service graciously held at Sharon Center School)..there is a lot I have explored on livfully.org and over 30K have seen a post Remermbering Kaelan Alexander...with many other posts referencing aspects of our lives in those times and since
When someone dear to Kaelan took time to share a song I wrote to summarize his last acts of love and courage saving two of his teen friends from the HoUSAtonic River, others echoed their feelings of thanks and admiration for what a wonderful person Kaelan was and how it seems like only a short time ago that he was walking the earth like any of us, not almost 10 years ago. I will post the song again shortly and it is on his Facebook Memorial Page. I shared a few more remembrances so thought I'd put them here..and a poem someone wrote about another 8th grader a few decades ago..who was related to Kaelan and in 'simpler times' but also in wilder times since the laws keeping people on their toes to monitor youth or reckless drivers weren't on the books yet. We do the best we can with what we have...and so here are the comments on the FB page and the poem at the end...
We are 'all in this together' (like the Disney song in HS Musical said and the Sharon Center School kids did a play of and which Kaelan played the part of the kid who liked to bake and wanted to woo a gal with a special dish..creme brulee...
Regarding their production of Cinderella, one of my friends said Kaelan 'stole the show' when playing the part of the herald trying shoes on all the gals feet since he put such emotion and expression into trying and being frustrated. He basically put his heart into everything he cared about from fun and schoolwork (especially as a kid when he took each assignment seriously.)
He was distressing in 3rd grade over a summary of George Washington (which he had researched and was doing pictures of with detailed colorful drawings...) "How am I going to tell everything about George Washington's early life? He grew up to become 1st President of the United States?!"
I called his teacher and she assured him he could cover a few points for his report. It's one of the few things I got to keep after many moves and getting a few of his projects. Mostly he threw things out to show me 'It's not that important once it's done." I have held a different opinion and now may need to recall the advice to share a sampling of his life when trying to capture the essence of his young life...even though he grew up to be the kid who saved his friends lives and passed trying to do 'more than was possible'.
A poem written about another 8th grader in the area many years prior could pertain to the spirit of invincible youth..and I'll put in on livfully.org to not go on too long here. Again, many thanks and good to not only remember but feel into the bigger healing messages on many levels.. making peace with the past and even present (and future which is affected by our choices and attitudes..) whether in our dreams, hearts or good intentions with others and even ourselves. Let's feel the connections of the bigger love and support that guides our life journeys on this amazing planet earth (aka plan-it heart.) with love from above!
A Poem Shared as Part of Kaelan's Legacy... one written by a teacher for a student in June 1977 (40 years ago from June 2017)
Cheering on the playing field,Action in the gym
Thoughts that come through clearly,Helping Others Win
Energy Abounding,Rowdiness to spare,
Ingenuity put to good use,Never hesitates to share
Enthusiasm flowing over, Pep in every stride
Attention to things that matter, Laughter in her eye
More to do than possible, Every pressing on
Remember all you've left us when your Kellogg days are done!
Shared for all to appreciate their youthful spirit and many accomplishments along one's journey. Some say we do most of our work 'before we get here'..in choosing to come into physical form with goals and aspirations not for glory but for learning about how our spirit can handle the human condition and explore living in keeping with universal laws and guidelines. Some say it takes eight years to 'fully incarnate' into our bodies and another decade or more to mature to the point that we are able to make decision..and then our lives play out accordingly, individualy and collectively as we consider what our lives are 'all about' (the balance of spiritual, physical and social aspects.) Okay I will post this for now..and yes, the poem happened to be written for me by a teacher but I feel it pertains to those amazing early years when life is hopefully 'contained' in a comprehensible home-school world with lots of support for every student (and that includes homeschoolers too.)
teacher, the late Howard Reed, wrote to me, "If we could contain you're energy we could light Falls Village for entire year!" I feel like the message clicks with what Kaelan did do..he offered up his physical energy and spirit to light up our small town communities on the map. The rescue workers, including Skip Kosciusko of West Cornwall CT, who braved rescuing the third youth facing imminent danger who Kaelan swam through difficult water to reach yet then went under with the lad, got the miracle of saving one but felt the loss deeply of not being able to do the same for Kaelan. Skip spoke eloquently and from his heart at the Memorial Service for Kaelan.
A family member of the third rescued teen also shared that mix of emotion of being grateful their youth was saved against great odds..and yet factored directly into why Kaelan perished. The kind of deeper reflection and consideration of this whole kind of situation is one that is not clear who should or could do so. Yet much on this blog www.livfully.org and many letters to the editor from me and others in similar kind of 'no man's land' attempt to clarify what could improve the factors related to these turns of events. With social media, likely more ideas and efforts will emerge to 'tend to whatever needs tending'. This effort might include seeing the connections between what happens in court cases for custody and what any parent or caregiver needs to know about legally supervising minors.
Similar to 'drunk driving laws' there may need to be 'reckless activitities guidelines in place such as the Boy Scouts, Girl Schouts and Outward Bound etc follow to have people be trained and accountable, have parental permission from both parents (especially the mothers and anyone helping with children from single homes or in divorce situations.) The idea of a family being in conflict or in a compromised situation such as divorce, custody or even moving or having special health care needs etc could all be shared more readily. If there is not public transportation or funding for food or other basics, that could be addressed also. Unfortnately the foster care or child protective services draw up their guidelines and don't have to inform the public until things are broken..and then it May be Too Late.
Even if concerns are brought up in divorce or custody court areas, they are often ignored or turned into a matter of adult conflict rather than accepting a protective parent's earnest concern. See CA Protectiv Parents website for rare media coverage about the brokenness of many state systems, due to lack of judicial oversight and accountability, lack of current training and funding from ill-intentioned groups that over look abuse of children. The Safety of Children may be considered in such cases,but often is not required by law.
Then the definitions of safety and best interests of the children can vary widely among states. Considering whether children need a home or a mother, it's a mother statistically that will keep a child safe and secure. With rising housing costs, many people cannot afford stable independent housing. In some states children must have their own room to sleep in at a certain age (3 or 6 years of age) whereas other states do not have such rules.
As we learn and grow together the safer plans can be made for youth and even young adults to plan for 'easy does it' agreements and open accountablity so situations do not face a downward spiral with no checks or supports of a meaningful nature...peace and let's keep trying'
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