Smiling Hugs to Simone Biles for Pulling Through the Stress of 'Twisties' and Showing the World It's Okay to Ask for Help!

I have been able to keep up with a few headlines and stories about Simone Biles as has anyone tuned into the Olympics has...and the concern and realization that former Olympian Extraordinare and current Olympic contender Simone Biles was stepping out of the team competition and then other programs as well was a huge wake up call to the world that it's really not as easy as the pros make it look even if everyone trusts and knows there's a mind game as well as physical set of super skills at play.I have just read she will do beam so wish her and all the contenders in the many fields all the best to do their personal best...what more would any of us ask or expect or even want?

We've seen in the past that suffering to maintain a certain weight or skill takes its toll. And then there is the concerning trend and worry about people doping to up their game. The fame, money, endorsements and social capital can lure folks from the basics as a late high school coach Roland Chinatti  of Falls Village CT had reminded decades of athletes. In our small town there is also a whitewater canoe course (for closed boat canoes that look like kayaks but can hold one or two athletes.)  That was built and maintained by the late Jamie McEwan and friends and family. 

It's an honor to have attended some events where former whitewater champs competed for the US Team back in the 1990s in the midWest. The Olympic  and expert hopefuls are only a few houses or fields away for many, with plenty of talent making the grade as excellent in their fields. Then there is the whole realm of ParaOlympics and Special Olympics where people with different body or other conditions give their all to play as a team member or compete in an array of athletic pursuits. The human spirit is indomitable and creative. The inspiration for all of us to live with heroism as an encompassing set of values and skills is endless. 

We can all grow in our respect for life in its many forms and phases from parenting to rearing youth and welcoming the gifts and yes,'challenges' presented by people of all ages and walks of life. For someone like our me as the parent of Kaelan Palmer Paton who died in a strange turn of events rescuing friends at  the base of a dangerous waterfall also on the Housatonic River where the other whitewater training gates are set up a half mile down river the importance to reflect on the abilities and blend of love and skills is a lifelong mission.

Many questions are too hard to ask... such as 'should he have gone into turbulent fierce water to save his friend, especially after pulling two others out from the side and having a few moments to realize the danger." He had told one of those friends he would have gone in for him if he had gone under. The love and will to save others was unstoppable.

Skilled rope rescuer Skip Kosciusko was stunned that Kaelan felt he had any chance of reaching his friend by swimming about 20 feet through the thrashing water. He couldn't believe he made it to his friend and recounted in The Lakeville Journal that his own blue jeans were cut by the pounding waters coming over the Falls.

The tremendous forces were relentless and forced his apart from the youth he was able to put a loop of rope around. It was astounding that neither he or the teen got hurt as they ascended from the bowels of the beastly white water plunge pool where there were strong undercurrents that pinned Kaelan's heroic body underwater for a week. On the following Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 his body floated seven miles down river to the West Cornwall Covered Bridge in CT. A trainman spotted his form swiftly moving on the whitewater and called in the report alerting them that they had to hurry to catch him.

Thankfully quick responders did pull his intact but bloated body to shore right after the bridge on the Sharon side of the road, which fittingly completed his life journey having been born at home about five miles from there on Calkinstown Road which connects the two towns and people he loved, family and friends.

Unfortunately as happens with many youth for various reasons, he was not closely supervised by his mother (that would be me) for reasons beyond my control in his teen years, but he had homeschooled until age 7 and 3/4.

I had many more people watching all three of our younger children, but did not get to spend time with them much at all for a few years before Kaelan's untimely passing. There is a mine field of information and key learning points for more to consider when the time seems right to help prevent things we did not understand back in 2009 in CT and in many states and countries. More voluntary guidelines and parenting and caregiving plans could avert many problmems.

That is a theme I share about the Tom Drew case of Salisbury CT which unfortunately is not portrayed in a positive light in Searching for My Missing Father regarding the care he was receiving. Yet important questions and concerns are raised which are key for our times when many people will be needing more help in their elder years or for various conditions and disabilities. Everyone could train to feel qualified to assess and address care needs in immediate, short term and longer ways. But most of those frameworks for having capable trained people 'at the ready' with housing, transportation and basic living needs covered and supported (so back up care for those needing time off for medical or other needs.) As we face the reality of the huge amount of work and teamwork needed to do a sufficient and hopefully stellar job at caring for ourselves and others in balanced ways, we can all aspire to be 'Olympic CareGivers!' Now Back to our son Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton....who was born at the start of 1993....

He went into first grade at that age and never wanted to work to skip up to be with kids his age feeling he had a nice balance of doing sports and school. In his first and only year at Housatonic Valley Regional High School he got hurt early in the soccer season and sat on the bench although he later did lacrosse. He loved being a friendly, outgoing person whether meeting people through folk festivals and contra dancing, biking or unicycling (at circus camp), growing up at a nature center and yet getting some trips in to Florida, Texas and Illinois as well as some boating ventures on whitewater rivers with his Dad David Alexander Paton who was almost on the Olympic whitewater team. A story about that is in The Hartford Courant of CT, reflecting on how the river Dave and Kaelan loved and boated ended up being a Heartache on the Housatonic (the title of another article in the Republican American of CT.)

There are short segments of the Memorial Service and celebration of Kaelan's life on youtube. His grandfather Sandy (Charles Alexander) Paton died shortly after but was there to see many of their Folk-Legacy Records friends and his wife Caroline sing and share a special time that hopefully can still inspire many in these Covid pandemic times to pull together and focus on healing, forgiving, caring and creating community anew in one's heart even if apart from others for any reason...even if someone dies physically.

Those are other ideas I have been exploring on Livfully.org and hope to do even more to embrace the freedom and ways we can show up for one another and nurture meaningful relationships whether online in writing or audio and video, zoom and live talks and events or other stories and advocacy. Let's have a blend of intimacy (in to me see...) and advocacy (making needs and solutions known and a reality for more in each town, state, country and our world at large.) 

I'm part of the unofficial and almost underground "Caregiving Olympics", taking care of people who don't have the time to ask or funds to pay at times, at least not right away and maybe never...and who even need a loan of some funds and items to keep a mattress waterproof (a plastic shower curtain liner works well...and good to have a few on hand in case one is soiled etc.

Sorry if that's TMI, but hang in there...lots of good ideas on each post, but let's not forget that every person needs to eat, drink, pee and poo and often with help from some kind of 'back up system' of a pad, diaper or even towels or cloths and waterproof mattress cover.

Keep bedpans, urinals (for male and female) or large yogurt containers handy to make "voiding" (peeing) and eliminating (pooing) as handy and sanitary as possible. So keep sanitizer, toilet paper, wipes and so on closeby as well.

Google ideas for caring for someone at home, assisting with safe transfers to a commode or wheelchair, toilet or other scooting kind of chair if there's a small space someone needs to get to and the wheelchair won't fit.

Some people can take a few steps with assistance of another person, grab bars and support rails so put those in even in  tight spot (such as getting on and off a toilet with a commode over it or other higher seat  put on it to keep the work to a mininum.)

These crazy little details may be key for more people to know and discuss to help someone stay in their home with reasonable help.

https://fb.watch/77CIi4ouHU/ is about the Limbic System and ways trauma is physically processed and affect the limbic system...so there are therapies that address that. Helpful in these times of 'ups and downs'.

I read in the NY Post that in NYC over 300 police are die due to violence on the job annually. Some are advocating for high risk pay of about $300 extra each year (the number based on some formula not as a tribute to those who are killed.) 

The report said that there is an uptick in crime in certain sections of the city so that is where more experienced police are needed to handle serious situations, where often newer police work and not usually by choice.

They may benefit from learning more about the limbic system and therapies to handle traumatic situations. Also BrainTime.com can help people maintain their health and get better sleep. There is a link for a free trial on this post around the new year and I will post it again soon to be easier to find.