A Soccer Travesty, A Traffic Snaffew, And Other Everyday Not Forgotten Hard Times (and Crimes)

I responded to a post on Linked In about a police man being protected by a group of protestors. I think the policeman was white and the protectors were black also, linking arms, God bless them. Let US All keep the energy and care we are finding in facing the harsh realities of cruelty, ignorance, and lack of clarity about police tactics and greater waves of racism in our hearts and minds as we move through this month of June 2020, when thousands have been rising up and millions crying out for justice and peace... The No Justice, No Peace can turn as one close friend said to a pathway forward..."Know Justice, Know Peace.!" Say what we want...and let the universe deliver it in keeping with great joy... that the dreams of millions are being realized. No turning back, no turning back, as the freedom songs go.

Everything is taking on new meaning and rippling out over time and the world to inform us each of our Choices, Voices and Ways to Take a Stand (and Lend a Hand While Still on Land, something I promote as part of the advocacy of our late teen Kaelan Palmer Paton's dire situation and passing on Tuesday, June 16th, 2009...which was 11 years ago come this Tuesday, June 16th, 2020.

We can take a moment of silence and reverence our collective learning, pain, suffering, healing and overall growth in not only this past decade but even the past few, as Kaelan would have been 27 years old at this time...and his life was a bigger blessing than any of us ever imagined.

That holds true of all of our loved ones in spirit. There is more learn and connect with and be inspired by even long past their final lap in life's mortal track is taken...Maybe this will be the year I do a more formal outeach and welcome support on many levels to do that at cppaton@yahoo.com. Funds to help me pursue this blog and future outreaches as well can be made at paypal.me/CathPalmPaton.

Thank you for the support we've had over the years and particularly during the time of the Kaelan's heroic passing in the Housatonic River on his last day of school his freshman year at his nearby Housatonic Valley Regional High School. While he had shared in his 8th grade essay, not to let school get in the way of one's education, that took on a tremendously complicated meaning as he was trying to celebrate the end of the school year with friends, riding bikes around my small home town of Falls Village with a group of friends and going to a part of the river that was particularly dangerous by the Falls where there were undercurrents.

The fast flowing flood stage water was nothing to be near, yet that would draw people to see, sometimes with the unfortunate accidental fall into the water (thankfully on a calm day for those times.) There are many aspects to consider about any outing, so this is a launch point for modern times. That would include the risks of protests and 'rivers of energy' whether one's bloodstream with alcohol or drugs, people gathering in crowds without assurances of safety moving or being not being blocked and of course driving with its many potential risks, particularly if someone is inexperienced, under the influence, or otherwise compromised or being reckless or dangerous to themselves or others.

See what I mean about 'we can rethink everything and aim for safety and prevention of harm?" Not to drive ourselves batty, but really to be mellow and trust with a mix of ideas and pacing our efforts' we can evolve with love 'and get to where we're going in good company over the seasons of the year...and the seasons of our lives.

WIth smiling photos and years of living in the country, going to local schools, a friendly church and many clubs and programs there's evidence of Kaelan over his lifetime, that really did capture some of his cheerful clever spirit and warmed the hearts of his family, friends, and wider school and community. His memorial service on youtube shares more and includes moving words from his family, writing teacher Monica Connor of Sharon Center School where hundreds gathered a month after his passing, and with insights shared from the rescuer of his friend who he had tried to save against tremendous, really impossible odds.

The difficult lesson for all to ponder starting with not allowing dangerous and even unsupervised outings near such places as rivers, beaches with rip tides or in general out in nature or in risky places as well as not trying to save people who may not be able to be saved with one's efforts (and which can complicate a rescue by adding to who is needing help.) These reflections came to me over many months, along with ideas that one may need to prevent someone from being the hero if risking their life.

Another more helpful point would be for responders to blow their car horn to alert others that they are close by, and prevent a tragic turn of events for someone feeling they are running out of time to make a dangerous, even fatal choice to try to help someone else.

Again these are challenges hopefully most will not face, but an array of concerns are touched upon in many of my posts whether from local or personal insights or from the more public concerns. I did just read this morning about the discovery of the two young people from Idaho, so their loss will echo throughout our country and online as one to find ways to prevent as much as possible in the future.

Too many 'risk factors' can really add up to trouble, but the levels of difficulty only expand when there are few ways to monitor and intervene. A loss of a family apparently at the hands of the father the family occurred even in a rural friendly town in Massachusetts. The tallies and investigations could be shared in comprehensive ways to help more people feel 'informed and supported' in getting help for challenges and avoiding conflicts particularly that fester over many years whether personal, local or more complicated, such as what we are seeing with the concerns of #BlackLivesMatter. More support to right the wrongs are rising while I'm sharing this post... and I will post this now to not lose it to cyberspace.

Best to all going forward. On another more 'pro-active note' see the free offer from MyDirectives.com and consider making plans to help clarify one's choices if medical concerns arose suddenly or for down the road. Small steps of lining up a healthcare representative can help one feel more secure about 'what -if's' down the road and help one navigate the medical system and understand the importance of advocacy to avoid unintended consequences.

Those can happen on many fronts, whether from medical mistakes or misundertsandings of what a Living Will or a DNR means or from not realizing the importance of making one's choices known and having to undergo more medical treatment or even life-sustaining support if in a persistent vegetative state. There's plenty to learn and a lot online to get going. It's valuable to really discuss things with qualified people and meet the state requirements to have valid forms in place, properly witnessed and signed and notarized as required (possibly at one's bank or by looking online for local resources.)

This reflection takes me back in time..but there's much more I've shared (and likely will) about Kaelan's turn of events that the communities, states and countried may want to pursue further and along with me and other advocates to help parents, teachers and others supervise minors with more accountability and buy-in as team players in the big game of LIfe... that game of Stayin' Alive whether at home or when one takes a drive, goes exploring or playing any sport and going to work. If a fatality occurs at a work place or during a work time, there is a requirement of an investigation.

That same should hold true no matter the circumstances, with people giving as much information as possible voluntarily even if anonymously to understand factors even if there is no official crime. Adults and parents especially should have a clear set of guidelines for their state and community regarding agreements to watch and monitor youth in their care whether their own children or others.

There need to be clear ways to gain permission from a state and community about safe ways to swim, explore, boat, hike, bike, ride motorcycles, dirt bikes, ATVs or other vehicles with safety helmets and training. Same for driving farm equipment or learning to drive. Higher guidelines could be set and promoted as well, with ongoing check-ins for all drivers with other friends or community support people to assure people's skills and physical abilities are adequate.

Following the laws and going the speed limit, knowing that '55 Saves Lives' can be promotes as well. Okay now back to my sharing from Linked In... and let's keep each day as a way to show our collective concern and care for one and all to be part of a healing solution with respect and safety at the forefront. A poster a student created I recall from a decade ago the Falls Village Ct based regional Housatonic Youth Services in our area read as follows; Respect: Give it, get it. Got it?

That's the kind of clever way Kaelan lived for the majority of his life and certainly how he lived his final moments, rescuing two friends by extending a hand while still on land to get them out of dangerous waters, then braving going in to help a third who was thankfully saved by an adult rope rescuer, Skip Kosciucko, an American hero as are so many who we don't have enough ways to thank, but can of course change that whether helping them directly or their fire companies or communities.

Let's keep open minds and hearts to healing what has been broken with a sense of shared benefit as we make better agreements, guidelines and follow-through with accountability. Best to one and all. See other posts on Livfully.org such as Remembering Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton and online coverage as well. Many thanks.

I have 'taken a stand' a few times over, often getting mixed responses for advocacy or even directing traffic to help prevent back-ups (in Brooklyn NY for instance and I had a dozen people yelling at me and threatening me, filming and assuring me what I was doing was Against the Law, since I wasn't a trained traffic patrol person. People wanted Explanations while I was managing a four way intersection to prevent major snaffews due to a mom's car stalling midway down the block (now at least You know what the problem was...)

There's more to that story but I assured her she should get out of her car with her two kids and dog and then I decided there was no point to having cars back up behind hers..It was a tight set of lanes, with buses going through and a box truck blocking part of the other lane) Even when the police arrived they were not much help but did park their patrol car behind the car (not to prevent pile ups, but by then the box truck had moved so there were manageable delays and so on.

That is still a set of issues that needs fixin' so people would be able to understand that danger or difficulty may necessitate some independent Good Samaritan type actions.

Thanks for sharing this story and encouraging people to be safe and even to not do what I did if they feel it's too dangerous...which basically is really was, with a few cars swerving around me, swearing at me and calling me names putting me down as a woman...and a 'white one' that at. partly having been a soccer coach long ago for kids when it seemed an even playing field.

Once in 1976, a player was injured badly when I was a kid, with a person stomping on the player's big toe to win the ball.

No investigation into that even though it happened during a game and the ref called it in the injured player's favor (to get a penalty kick.) Even when the toe was found to be broken, no apology.

Maybe the player (about 13 years old) didn't realize the severity of her actions even though it was clearly poor sportsmanship. She looked the player in the eye with the ball on the ground between them. Rather than play the ball , she went for the cruel, crushing stomp. By the way, my toe did heal but I was allowed to walk home a mile or more even though people saw my toe swelling up!

That's just 'one' of a few dozen terrible assaults that were not labelled as such 'back in the day.' Likely we could each come up with a list and help one another process 'what gives?!'

Why has so much crime gone unchecked in every aspect of our society without any clear referees or reports assessing things right away (the best time to get witnesses, hear each persons's side of the situation and oh yes, Get Evidence.)

These things could be taught to kindergartners...and many of them know plenty well What's What!