There are more caring people helping others plan for 'end of life issues' and options, but they are not all equal...and only scratch the surface of what many need to consider

The Five Wishes is a helpful document many organizations and people promote as an icebreaker and way to help people 'plan for a healthcare agent and give guidance about what kind of treatment they would want if they came to needing more help near the end of life.' That's a good start yet I have trained with the folks who do MIDEO and they encourage people to review their offer to be as specific with the correct medical terms as possible to 'avoid confusion' and to be clear with one's healthcare agent. See MideoHealth.com for more information.

It would seem there could be a national (if not world wide) set of clear 'options' with language all people would learn carefully so there would not be added stress and possible mismanagement of key issues. I am trained as an End of Life Doula (EOLD) and have learned a lot from caring for people over many decades.

There's a lot to discuss and I share more in letters to The Lakeville Journal of CT. Pls Pm me or add questions or topics that may be of interest and hopefully every state and area could have an ad-hoc group of advocates to help more people get their feet wet in this important set of terms and options with real help when one needs it (and back ups...) Thanks for all braving this and caring about others too!

I also have a blog and hope more people can learn about the care and support for people who need homecare and ways to be accountable for the care, pay and other arrangements that are important for everyone to learn about early and often with regular reviews.

Many people can get confused and become accusatory or even start a legal action against competent caregivers (many who go the extra mile...) Without a way to learn about concerns with some support, people can become contentious if not bully others even in a homecare situation.

They can also become confused if the client due to a medical issue (thyroid imbalance, effects of drugs and such, blood sugar or UTI issues, early signs of dementia or mental illness or problems related to irregular sleep and lots more.)

Police need special training with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) as well as elder care concerns to try not to exacerbate matters (which seems fairly easy for them to do unfortunately.)

A few people trained to help move people under duress would be helpful to have on hand as well, with a way to video tape what is being packed as much as possible if someone needs to leave the premises.

Often they will have to do so immediately upon being fired (for any reason or no reason) and may be allowed to come back one time for an hour or so with a police escort (getting the other people to agree to that can be a challenge and depending on a situation, that may not be allowed.)

For that reason, no money or valuables (phone, computer, medicines etc) should be left at a residence but rather kept with a person when leaving even if they are doing live-in work. Another option may be to have a locked closet that they can access even if they need to only remove items under supervision should a problem arise.

Again there could be checklists for people to learn about early and have ways to look into concerns without going to extremes. We need to realize there will be a huge number of elderly and others needing support and cannot wing it and hope for the best.

Sometimes police can be called and people take matters to court (rather than work things out amicably and not allege things without evidence or clear problems...which can be against the law.) The people closest or caring for the person may find it hard to accept that their client is having ongoing challenges or declining in ways, and may deny the likelihood of someone being accusatory without grounds.

Then there can be many problems related to people being paid for their services, with some bullying others into covering their wages or again accusing people of stealing or 'taking their hours' or 'being on the property when they are not supposed to be.' That may arise due to someone needing to be a responsible party for a homebound person and having a duty to be present more than others may realize.

At a certain point having clear answers to valid or sincere concerns would be sensible, but if the matters are tossed into the realm of police and courts (which do not understand the various limitations each one can put in place such as a no trespassing order not allowing for someone to make plans even with the court's permission to arrange a time to get one's items.

The police may feel it's not in their purview to do so due to a lack of manpower but also that the matter is more civil than meriting their oversight. The problems can go ' on and on' and the logistics of moving under such conditions is akin to what housemates or a divorcing or separating couple may face. Again 'all of the above' could be addressed with a lot of foresight and teams of people aiming to be cooperative and accountable for the actions each are taking.

That is why having people in one's home whether for care or even having items stored (for a tag sale to raise funds for care or paying help etc) can be problematic. Thanks to all thinking things through as they can, but often no one can imagine such things 'until it happens to them' and then it's a crisis which often takes up more energy and can incur costs (hundreds if not thousands, and also losing pay in those amounts is common whether one has a contract and well-intentioned relatives, friends or employers assuring payment or seeming to be well-intentioned and capable of following through with covering basic needs.

A lot of info on ctseniorlaw.com can be helpful to review and again finding more about what local area hospitals and care agencies and caregivers have experienced would be valuable (even without naming names etc.)