More on DV, where weeds must be pulled to let the good stuff grow. Prevention is KEY (and not easy) but better than too little too late or not having a Clue!

Celebrating with celebrities  (with the likes of Martha Stewart, Bunny Williams and Others who generously donate along with many supporters and volunteers) to combat abuse is admirable, so kudos to the success of  the Annual May Trade Secrets Elaborate Garden Event which raises many thousands for Women's Support Services (860)364-1900 hotline for support for abuse or support if not even sure if abused...or their office number is 860-364-1080.

They are based in Sharon and serve the CT northwest rural towns (I'd have to check their list) and maybe others who call on the hotline. In Torrington CT, there's Susan B Anthony which has a hotline for sexual and physical or other forms of abuse (860) 482-7133, and an office number.

These agencies as many others are also, are Mandated Reporters if there are concerns of Child Abuse or Neglect. Therefore, you need to know a lot more if you have children. They can only tell you 'so much' and then, 'it's out of their hands'. Unfortunately being in a controlling or intimidating relationship or situation (careful with words which can keep tricking you into wanting a happily ever after, with rainbows and apologies or even just breaks that get your hopes up that 'things might be changing a little in the right direction'.

See more on Lundy Bancroft's page on FB and also know he's offering a tutorial soon which should be good for about 50 bucks on his book Why Does He DO That? Why Don't ALL Men and Women (just to show what good sports they are and lead the way to repairing stinkin' thinkin' that's condoned much abuse not only of women by men, but kids by adults (again any Dads or Men (Partners, Boyfriends or even Other Women or Family Members or Friends) abusing Moms ARE abusing children by definition!

The impact of ACEs --adverse childhood experiences are serious for kids lifelong..yes, it's that bad whether in direct fire of abuse or a witness or impacted by the effects on their caregiver. See how that puzzle fits together. Unfortunately the whole CPS (Child Protective Services) and Family Court (Divorce, custody, etc) have been typically siding with (drum roll) Abusers, especially if the woman is willing or trying to get O-U-T and Stay out. Don't be surprised that far too many DV Agencies are also complicit intentionally or unintentionally (let's pray the latter, whereas many DCF or CPS folks can be the former to get this, "meet their numbers")

What happens to kids in Foster Care Should Not and Can Not be Allowed to Stay in the System Unknown to the Trusting or Disinterested Public. Sorry this is so Heavy and Widespread. But Young Women and Moms need to Wake Up and smell the coffee and find Friends Who Understand them and can PLAN a secure way to have Safety and Support Longterm (months and years, not days and weeks).

Okay, more later, but until the leaders of an organization can clearly echo what I am saying here, which is from www.SafeAbuseCampaign.orgthey likely Don't Really Know How to Help in the Ways that are NEEDED Desperately. Courts are corrupt, broken, misguided and inept (did I leave something out) when the serious cases of abuse, control and intimidation rear their unsavory heads...

While the abuse starts the job, he can often find attorneys to 'finish the job' of severing ties between a capable caring mom and her kids. Thems just the facts, people. Kids are counting on normal nice adults to TRY TO PAY ATTENTION in a timely fashion and DO THE RIGHT THING, family by family and woman by woman.

How hard could it be in this day and age of daycare rearing kids, schools and programs and faith and other groups offering coverage for all times of the year? Sadly, it's still almost impossible to do the right thing because of the entrenched mindsets of the handful of decision makers in any community. It has and is costing moms and their kids huge losses, and factoring into not just one tragic loss here and there (which would be bad enough) but an epidemic of kids turning to drugs and being harmed by the loss of stability of normalcy when swept in the strong current of craziness.

No one can speak to an abusive man mainly because He Won't Let Them, even if he's the nicest guy. He will choose the topic thank you very much, And Set You Straight whether you happen to be a friend, family member, employer, police officer--even responding to his call or hers.. no matter he's got the answers, ya see? Then going to court is simply a matter of Setting the Judges Straight, with or without an attorney.

The deal is settled so why delay outcomes he has predetermined no matter the cost (tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars and lifelong animosity if not simple separation not only of himself from the mother of his children, but for his children to no longer see or connect with their mother.

Mothers of Lost Children have been seeking attention and legislative change for many years in DC and many states. Barry Goldstein. net deserves our utmost respect along with many capable advocates and bloggers (such as Catharine Sloper with her Divorce in CT blog and book, Lundy Bancroft and Books through www.civicresearchinstitute.org. The day of sanity will dawn, but likely many guidelines need to be relayed to parents well in advance of having children. The rules and regulations are endless and need not make sense to be implemented to serve a certain outcome. Criminality and ignorance run rampant, so again, please be forewarned and try to make safer life long decisions than women did in the past.

They did not have back up or a clear understanding of what lay ahead. No one can know what the future will be so ideally plans would be written with guidelines to have either party get help for physical, mental, financial, abuse, social or other challenges rather than make it a 'couple's issue'. Too often things go down hill with little coaching or consequence. The abusers can actually be ignorant of what wrong doing they are committing even over many years with various people. Such is the beauty of denial (and/or drugs and many other maladies). Meanwhile societal norms can seem harder to meet even if someone is trying. Then there's this thing called aging and life.. so no one has it easy. Still, it's worth trying to clarify main patterns of difficulty so others do not feel overwhelmed and misguided. Hope this helps one and many...