To Whom It May Concern (and It Really May Not Seem to be You, but Maybe Your Kids or Grands...)

Dear Everybuddy,  This may be The Most Important Blog Post For Parents and Kids, Elders and Others To Read Today, It's serious yet timely and informative, so please take note (or print out and ponder...more simple tips coming soon too.)

While everyone says 'know your audience, be clear about who your message is for (and of course What Your Message Is), sometimes it's hard to hone in on Who That Is, Where They Are on One's State and Country if not The World. Sometimes It Seems Everybody Should Want to Know What You Have To Say, What You've Learned At Great Expense and Painful Life Experience..even the Passing of an Almost 'adult' Child...who was likely more of an adult than most on the planet on many levels of intelligence, life experience for agility (flips and unicycling, tree climbing and serious whitewater kayaking at age 16...)

Even if one hadn't hear of  Huckleberry Finn written by Mark Twain of CT they might want to know there was that kind of lad with a rather illustrious Dad of almost Olympic standing (in whitewater slalom C-2, closed boat canoe that looks like a large kayak), musical connections with his folk-singing grandparents and talented successful family members on many branches of his tree going back many generations from not only America but with Swedish and Lebanese connections..so truly was 'a lad of the people'...or should that be a leader of the people we somehow Missed even during his very pubilc moving exit from the world when he tried to rescue a third friend from dangerous waters (having secured two out safely from shore again with quick-thinking and courageous skillful actions.)

With a love of soccer and biking, juggling and life in general, Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton planted himself firmly on the shore and was able to reach out a life-saving hand while still on land. In my heart I've asked him how much I should try to tell people to give warning to the many levels of 'brokenness' in the fabric of our society and particularly in the 'institution of marriage regarding the legal ramifications which can back fire big time on any mother or woman for that matter.' I felt the answer was 'just tell them about what happened with my passing and that shoud provide a clear reason why everyone should safeguard the whereabouts (and what they are up to) of minors and other young adults...and even older adults. 

So This is the Time of Year when Nature beckons the healthy, young and jovial folks of the world to go outside and play and maybe venture beyond their own back yard or to the exciting river calling not far away (or maybe in their backyard.) The answer has to be "No you can't go alone or without us checking with our Voluntary Community Guidelines to Keep You Up and Running, Us not Liable or Neglectful (by Not Knowing), and in compliance with Local and State Laws regarding any high-risk activity that can lead to one's demise, injury or cause harm to another, including their passing.

Okay so if we worked That Statement into every end of school speech we would not have to think of it during someone's eulogy as we did with our son's Memorial Service (which is on youtube) in caring ways, since of course we really do Care About People (there's that CAP which can mean Community Active People, Child Aware People and the sound of Thinking KAPP (Kids, Adults Parents Partnership) which I realized after Kaelan's heroic efforts were his initials.

Sometimes a cause needs a focus person to exemplify some serious matter or concern. I offer Kaelan's life story  (much related to all of this on Remembering Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton if you google that )and his valiant efforts in the afternoon of Tuesday, June 16th, 2009 to stand as such a vortex, focal point and inspiration for any who would like to adopt that into their mindset. Every community suffers an array of tragic passings, such as motor vehicle collisions (often due to high speed for conditions or the area, inexperienced or inattentive drivers, distracted drivers, some elderly drivers who are not being vigilant about having their skills monitored and of course, DUIs--driving under the influence of drugs (even prescription medicines can be problematic, illegal drugs or alcohol.)

Along with legalzing marijuana likely clarity about whether driving under the influence is allowed needs to be made in each state. Causing a fatality when driving (of a passenger or a pedestrian) is clearly an act that comes with consequences, often dependent on  the operator's skill or health status. Sometimes a parent is hurt or killed even in the process of teaching a son or daughter or other new driver skills for driving.

Be sure to 'teach and position yourself' safely so as not to get run over or to practice in many safe parking lot settings and eventually low traffic areas. Some basics about the first 10 lessons for driving should be promoted nationally covering basics like learning about how cars function, checking for oil and gas levels, considering tire safety and air pressure, understanding key functions, locking and unlocking cars, not having anything around a car (and checking regularly before getting in by walking all around the car and being aware if there are any pets or children nearby who could be trying to run out and say goodbye, give a message or come along

The same pertains for letting someone out of a car. Make sure they get in their destination (not just through a storm door, but inside a building especially if it's raining, cold etc and they are young or you are in a hurry, etc. Do not cut corners. Children should not run after school buses or race along side them as they pull away (or pull up) even if the driver or other students encourage this risky activity. 

There are likely a dozen topics about 'safe summer or outdoor activities' such as biking or using a scooter With a Helmet, hiking with a cell phone and a buddy and not too far if new to the sport or hiking boots, Swimming in safe pools with life guards not 'going for it' in wild places or with 'no game plan or trusted support people' and not in dangerous conditions. Learning to swim used to be a high school graduation requirement. Likely basic water safety of 'row, throw and go' in terms of not directly trying to retrieve someone whose struggling (even in calm water) as an initial attempt and not without training or understanding what the odds would be to successful.

The math could turn into two needing a rescue or losing their lives rather than one. Ideally with a call to emergency services (9-1-1) they will arrive in time to do the skilled rescue and even resuscitation if need be...it the person can be retrieved. Strong currents can sweep a person into a river in ways even adults often do not realize the dangerous risk of when stepping in to 'test the waters'. Sometimes a person will not a second chance to rethink the situation more clearly. What would one want one's best friend to do in terms of taking precaution to prevent getting into danger and needing a rescue? Can people STOP and Consider the Risk to the Rescuers or Friends who may try to 'jump in and save the day. the person in need?'

The swirling waters and any kind of waterfall, often slippery even on the rocks where water is not running over, are a Warning Sign that Needs to be Heeded. Rivers Require Respect...even getting near the River's Edge. So keep that to 100 feet or more before thinking of taking in the view, sitting near an embankment to read a book or go in the river even with friends. 

Well that's the installment for now. The other main point that I feel Needs to be said is Once a Tragic Experience is Over it's Nobody's paid job to learn the lessons of what could have prevented that. No one is supposed to take the time and help everyone learn what to do and what not to do to prevent that kind of thing from happening again to youth, adults or responders. That's a big BLANK. So please help fill in the blank.

Each person can be more accountable for the Way they are Conducting their Lives. You are the Conductor of Your Life Train, both when you get on (many say our spirits agree to this before we are born and let's face it, you are here and may likely have been up the challenge and learning experience) and how you journey, what 'stops you make along the way' or tracks you follow or switch to and your Final Stop (generally speaking this also was a pre-determined time and some say the manner may have more wiggle room with a year or so span of time. Something to ponder in a What if exercise to see what that feels like in one's heart if that's the case when reflecting on one's own life or that of loved ones who have journeyed on.) 

When a tragedy is over, even a 9-11 type event as in NYC in the US of A-Miracle (may the miracles come now when much needed), people almost 'need to forget', but maybe we can glean lessons and prevent more harm. Such is the case with publicity for all New Yorkers to keep their eyes open and make a call if there is a concern. Lately more outreach in subway stations have ways for people to call for help if they are not feeling well or there are situations of concern. Little by little I hope there will be volunteers and others even paid to monitor every subway station if not every car for a ride each day. People need work and some ride them regularly anyway. The overall idea that we can create more caring, helpful communities will catch on.

Yet the liability or involvement drawbacks are often highlighted. Older people kind of need life to slow down so they can keep up. Changes in energy or health can make the world seem like it's hard to manage. Any complicated matter is better left to professionals many believe and hope. It takes work to care and get involved. I have said Barry Goldstein and Lundy Bancroft could be heralded as the warriors for enlightenment that they are even if they offer tough solutions of 'leave abusers sooner rather than later' but first we need to fix the custody court systems to allow victims to do so. More men should super want to understand if they are contributing to this male dominance and control problem in our society and seek ways to bridge the gap.

Mainly men will listen to men and women to women for information since they are speaking from the same gender platform mainly "man to man'  or 'woman to woman'. Other efforts could promote conversation among people of the same orientation whatever that is sexually, socially, politically, economically, educationally, racially, etc so more ground is covered and less apt to get off track based on perceived or 'real' differences. As we consider that we are all in the same boat as on planet earth with one climate governing the CO levels, we really all need to have air to breathe, food to eat, a place to call home and care for ourselves and loved ones. Some of that may need fine tuning as to how to achieve that with basic standards of human dignity and efficacy.

But it's not rocket science. It is mainly a political quagmire and so hopefully we can save each other and lend each other a hand while still no land. What is broken regarding legal marriage contracts and having a biological child or other vested interest in with one other person could be reviewed to safeguard people's civil rights and attachment to their children in safe and healthy ways.  Likely more 'pairings' and parenting could occur with more of a business license than a legal marriage license.

That may sound horrible but the idea would be to educate people more fully about what is expected and required by law when one marries (and that varies in all 50 states), what it takes to get a legal divorce, and a reasonable custody plan in place for one's child/ren. Too many are left with abusive parents and not seeing their protective mother (90% of the time, even though common sense and publicity does not reveal that sad and often tragic if not deadly statistic.)

The Next Generations need to hear about these travesties, that there are not 'safe, sober, caring, competent guides' drving the bUS for US-All and that there is much in our society and even in our religious circles that would guide them willy-nilly and with much conflicting messaging to say "Yes to the Dress' or "Marry their One Soul Mate" (with no mention of What that Means For One's Life, Finances, Parenting, Even one's eggs or sperm should in vitro be started...or the frozen embryos.) I have a whole blog post on livfully.org about the ways we could ennumerate who and what is on the planet that we should pay careful attention to and discuss more openly among ourselves as citizens of planet heart or earth (both hopefully influencing each other in positive ways.)

Thanks for tuning in and please, Let Your Children and Grand Kids and Anyone Under 25-30 Read This Sooner Rather than Later... and anyone over 30 can do so as well especially if not married, not a parent or not sure whether they will or if they are thinking of doing that again, or what have you. Lots more to discuss, this is the tip of the iceberg yet could impact whether we wake up to the bigger Climate Change of our atomsphere.. We may all need to meditate our way to health, survival and fair play and accountability (and maybe put the  broken courts --which not all are, but way too many are in the family, civil and even criminal divisions and corrupt systems out of business in the process as a bonus.)