Merry Mary Holly Bear-y Christmas from NW CT 2013

Our Christmas time in the NW Corner of CT is wrapping up here at 7:15 pm. A little girl (who came later in life to parents then needed some serious surgery but is thriving at a few years old ) hugged the teddy bear, and joyfully joined in photos with bear in arms..isn't that much better than bearing arms as is happening in Africa (Sudan) and Syria..and Iraq and too many other countries and cities, towns and Homes? I intended to get this off on a  jolly note about the deep and abiding joy that undergirds the Christmas experience of Christ offering salvation and hope to humankind (according to the sermons and readings I heard at about five services in the past two days).

The analogy of people being able to be forgiven and healed is echoed in the millions of copies of books and online at www.drsha.com. He assures us  there are energetic links between the feelings of forgiveness and love, healing and well-being. I have often thought that science will prove there is much more about the way our human minds, energy fields and emotions work than we ever imagined. Why not try a few Great "IF" moments in "life" (notice the 'if' in the middle of life?).

I heard a talk on www.npr.org called the Dark Side of the Subjunctive and the overall message was that many cultures and people cannot shift into a 'what if' mode. They cannot 'act as if' something Might be true because they cannot still their thoughts and 'switch gears or thinking tracks' long enough to entertain a new Possibility which is what the language and spirit of the subjunctive offers. The 'indicative' describes what IS in the here and now..and many people are not willing or perhaps not able to 'go beyone what they perceive as real'. Soon we may have to focus on the topic of perception....how to we assess something as "real"?

If one knows one is watching a movie, one can perhaps buy into the notion of a story being told by actors. Some people may have a challenge remembering actors are playing roles, speaking from scripts and so on. Part of the joy of a movie is forgetting about That part of  reality, and venturing into the story, almost like a dream. Isn't it cool that a dream can seem real and in some context is a 'real dream'? I used to laugh thinking about whether I could see things in color or at all in my dreams since my eyes were closed when dreaming! Theories from Rudolf Steiner say that we are going back to our 'original being state as a spirit, or when we first touched down into spirit form' when we take even a brief nap!

He describes many amazing aspects to sleep that have Nothing to do with getting Physical Rest or even a real Spiritual Break, but rather a kind of 'downloading information to another part of our souls'. Furthermore, when we 'die' we supposedly get to review all those 'tapes' like so many old VCR tapes many likely have stored in their attics! The attic of the mind or moreover the soul, is what gets 'cleaned out/ reviewed' when one 'crosses back over to the spiritual realm'. In addition, thinkers like Steiner and I believe Edgar Cayce (www.are.org or com) say all activities and objects and of course people have energetic footprints...so to only have things one can care for and 'allow to take up mind and energy'  in one's life..and to respect what has gone on in a certain space.

There is so much happening that is unseen, not 'provable' and really basically incomprehensible to most folks that we likley could spend not only 'holy days' or 'special days' pondering the deeper meanings of history and our current reality and future, but most days (and there are tips to explore ideas when going to sleep too). It's not unlike 'praying day and night' but the overall idea is to ask in a reverent way, perhaps someone close to you on the other side that you really knew, about a practical issue..then to recall one's 'answer or message before opening one's eyes and waking up'. Just pretending this could be an important part of one's day (as would be going to sleep, which again www.drsha.com has some helpful tips to quiet the mind, body and soul before bed  before 11pm and at least until 1pm--Zi time when the universe is recalibrating it's energy and trying to help us stay in sync with the earth and stars--and to help awaken said trio  in the morning to prevent deleterious (bad) affects of jumping out of bed which can cause heart trouble or even heart attacks (due to the sudden change in blood pressure, who knew?)

Well, if people have enjoyed the idea of Santa Claus, being in the giving spirit, helping others as our better sELVES, and even treating our inner child to some fun and games..well, maybe it's not too big of  a stretch to remember there is something more to l(if)e than what meets the eye. About a decade ago I danced to the song Mary Did You Know which talks about Jesus being born but growing up to suffer and die which in turn would help the blind see and the deaf hear. I shared that dance as part of a Christmas eve service (which I attended again last night with many of the same people and ministers there).  That song may have helped prepare my heart to face the loss of my own only son when he was 16 and a half. He'd been born on the 12th day of Christamas and I'd wanted to name him Gabriel, but my husband chose "Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton" (which happens to have 26 letters in the spelling of it, rather cosmic alphabetical number..and born just after midnight had some 'alpha qualities'.

Kaelan  loved  mazes and drew very complex ones for his school poetry journal. Trying to save a friend who was caught in a back current near the base of the Great Falls, he ended up exitingthe earth-sphere not far upstream from the  hydro-electric power plant in one of the smallest towns in CT, at the Falls for which the town Falls Village is named--and now bears a sign officially with that link near the HoUSAtonic Valley Regional High School which he attended eagerly right to the last day of his freshman year, which was the day he died shortly after school getting  out early  at 12:30pm for summer. His friend was thankfully saved only moments later by a truly brave and skilled angel of a hero, Skip Kosciusko, from neighboring Cornwall, where Kaelan had many brotherly friends. Youth from most of the small towns feeding into the high school were there to celebrate the last day of school, the beginning of summer, and other events which had come to a 'conclusion' (such as a divorce that occurred the day before.

That latter situation could be a  cautionary note for all parents or adults going through difficulties to have close supervision of the  youth in their care and to work with written agreements with all parties supervising their children or youth in the community during times of transition, around dangerous areas, or times of special needs. We need to plan for the unexpected in a myriad of ways not to exhaust ourselves but to do a better job collectively and voluntarily at preventing unnecessary loss and undue risk to minors and rescuers and others affected by a dangerous event or activity. Waiting until tragedy strikes is waiting too long to do what Could be done by everyone in a caring, comprehenisive manner.

Let US-All "Take Attention" as another youth who also perished upriver a few years later was said to have remarked before crossing the street and holding his adult friend's hand. On a 'positive note' a message from my grade school teacher to me in 8th grade at Kellogg School read "If we could bottle up your energy, we could light Falls Village up for a whole year!" I feel like Kaelan was that bottled up energy, that came from me and his highly-driven father David Alexander Paton, that Has lit up not only Falls Village and our small state of CT and many other areas as news spread over the internet of the tragedy that claimed his life and gave his friends and all of US, hopefully, a major wake-up call and a Call to Action.

As a Vassar dance student in the early 1980s, I had two friends come dance at Kellogg School--Lorellen Green who is now a doctor and Colin Day, who sadly died of stomach cancer not long ago. I heard in his name 'Calling in the Day"..awaken, take up the dance, keep the energy flowing from not only Vassar but other parts of my life such as New Haven where I got to dance officially for the first time at the Educational Center for the Arts, and  in Torrington for  a summer with Nutmeg Ballet and take a few classes with Olga Dunn. Dance was my 'heaven on earth' in my early years, where earthly cares could be set aside and the energy of love and life could flow freely through me. Sometimes I'd take time alone in the studio to dance freely with modern dance and ballet moves blending with some of the joy of basic gymnastics I had been fortunate to  enjoy with Janice Pierson Fitch as a great teacher from 3rd grade on. Why not have everyone explore the gift of moving as my sisters has so often done playing records in our living room in the 1960s and 70s?

Many thanks to my sistas, and other great movers and shakers, our beloved Helen, Lori, Heidi, Vicky, Claire and Pam and others who'd keep the dance alive in the Town Hall studio over the 1980s and 90s? I hope to do a musical that would include movement and music about the gift of life, of having a family and friends in a small town, and facing life with boldness and eventually finding our joy along with hard-won wisdom. Kaelan loved circus arts, with  a newfound friend gifting him a unicycle (which I agreed to let him accept once we were sure the parents okayed it. Kaelan was thrilled to be off for 2 weeks at that Circus Arts Camp and had planned to help out as a counselor. He loved his grade school, playing soccer, kayaking, snowboarding and being a smart, talented kid. He braved a number of carefree activities--boogy-boarding high waves in Florida with cousin Blake, climbing lamp posts with his gymnast cousin Eric in Texas, and basically 'surmounting limits' with his dad David kayaking and adventurizing with his gang. Could there have been a way to keep him 'more on this side of safe' with some water rescue trainings, some drills  regarding the thrills, some coaching about 'adrenaline rushes' or 'too much of a good thing or see the science of physics and plan accordingly?"

I tried after Christmas eve service with a giant named Jason whose 21 and eager to ride a motorcycle as my son would be come this Jan 6th at 14 minutes after midnight. (The number links I see there is that my mom and I, her 10th child of the 12 she had, were born on the 14th of our months and counting my mom and Dad our family numbered 14. She, Kaelan and his Dad Dave and his Mom  all have 'angelic links' according to www.heavenandearthworks.com by Terah Cox in her birth angel chart based on the times and days they were born, fyi). The overall point I shared with some youth is 'men are greater risk-takers and more likely to injure themselves and others than women..Likely this is linked to testosterone. This is not to 'down males'. Maybe we've all been here many times, as each gender, according to some theories. We could try to laugh at the possibilities or learn from them. This is my quiet yet expressed hope.

The still small voice in each of us needs time to us to quiet down and listen to it, but it also needs some help being broadcast. I wore a small acorn to  church on a necklace (cleverly fashioned with an eyescrew in the cap and a red ribbon. I let a small child use it and the family kept it, maybe by mistake, but likely that was meant to be, as it is a time of giving. The ripple effect is coming through in my writings if not in reality as I hope to start wearing such things I could plan to pass on readily. Feel free to try it sometime. I also put up a lot of friendly 'enjoy every season with plans for peace' posters. Again, if a hundred folks do this, the ripples could have greater effects. For now, I will wrap up these points by saying I feel Kaelan's final exit from this earthly realm was the beginning of an a-maze-sing new journey. I feel his presence often and even in my dreams.

I think of my parents, Dale and Mary and many other loved ones in heaven, trusting they are keeping an eye on us, as though we are putting on a play for them and they are giving us clues and bits of news to help US-All on the journey God or the greater good had in store for us. How does that strike you--as a far-out possibility or a given? Feel free to chime to one or more parts of this in your own home, with a drawing, with your own blog or a reflection on your community's journey this Christmas and New Year time and bee-yawned! Wishing all a peaceful good night tonight and in all-ways...with respect and love for the shared journey and your singular snowflake-like passage from the heavens to the earth and back again.