The Day before Mother's Day... took time to do a google search, some sad news...but let's pull together like we're learning to do...
With CV19, Mother's Day is yet another holiday that's quieted down and different than all that have come before. Even though I'm eager to head to bed, I thought I'd google "mothers day' and see what might be inspiring. Instead tragic news of two Moms both with the last name Bobbit came up in searches.
The first is of Kaydee Bobbitt whose mother Wendy Valesquez was speaking out about her passing due to gun violence on April 3rd, 2020 with support from Mothers Against Violence in the city of Des Moines, Iowa. Kaydee was the mother of four children and her mom Wendy said she didn't know how she'd be able to support them. I wondered if there were a fundraiser for her, but didn't find one.
But when looking it up, I found out Kristie Bobbitt of Gilbert AZ,another mother of four, was killed by her the man who she was divorcing (who was also the father of her children.) He was taken into custody but expressed no remorse, saying instead it wasn't fair she would not talk to him. Hopefully there could be a far greater outreach to help women get safe and stay safe without having to wrangle custody issues in fear.
I am hereby lighting a few 'virtual candles' in for the families and in memory of these two moms, Kaydee and Kristie Bobbitt (no earthly relation but now making headlines to help more people wake up to the reality that we need more safeguarding from gun violence and from domestic abuse.)
That is a lot of what the CA Protective Parents Association and the Battered Mothers Custody Conference have been shedding light on for over a decade, often with protests about broken court systems and lack of protection for mothers and children in Washington DC on Mother's Day.
The conference this year was cancelled, but many advocates work tirelessly to promote ways to educate the public and primarily the courts. There could be an endless set of steps to take to gain ground. When someone is mentally unstable and/or abusive and/or using substances, particularly a scorned father or husband, the abuse or fatality risk can escalate, particularly at the time of separation.
Taking time to learn 'a little as one can' is a start. I cover many angles of these problems as I learn about them from advocates and conferences. See what Kayden's Korner and Kayden's Law is all about in Bucks County PA. Every state has to 'face the music' not unlike they've had to face the ins and outs of COVID19. Only Domestic Violence doesn't take a season off or have a vaccine or protocol to prevent it with a guarantee.
The earlier part of my day was spent doing some work outdoors, taking a walk in a sudden snow shower, seeing daffodils in the snow along with sun shining through gray clouds and making for a mystical moment. Wrestling with grapevines and pulling up bittersweet, raking gardens out and spreading cardboard for garden paths helped me anticipate a lovely garden becoming that much more of a reality.
Large fuzzy green mullein rose-flower type weeds along with perennials of autumn sedum, lady's mantle, hyssop, yarrow, oregano, lupine,peonies, black-eyed Susan, daisies, echinacea, and plenty I've forgotten the name of are coming up in my garden swale bed.
A lone red fox whose been rambling up and down our road regularly was in the yard earlier and makes me want to keep a stick handy. I am toying with asking the DEP if they want to check on the fox. Unfortunately there's a chance someone has been feeding the fox so that may be making the fox more interested in being closer to homes and people.
But for now, all is quiet and I'll wish everyone a positive healing kind of Mother's Day...with hopes that we can find ways to support anyone going through a difficult loss and show support for their children and family as well. These modern times are ones in which 'everyone is more tuned in' for the most part, but a litte more advocacy and action could see more efforts come through in a timely way to help people with transitions.
