Are you having a "Golden' Fall? I am, even met a little one with that name! Golden Ideas, Golden Feelings, Golden Life and more!

The glorious golds and crimson reds and fiery oranges have alighted the array of woods and mountains in the Berkshires and expanses across the northern part of our country. At a lively day in Great Barrington MA, where Main Street is being renovated a  $50 million dollar major school renovation will be voted on this November 2014 (and many say to Vote Yes because there will be more state funding and likely would cost less than doing 'just what's needed now to comply with codes'). I try to follow the story, but look on The Berkshire Eagle and other sites to do some research, but please consider that in the future, the building likely could serve other purposes if enrollment declines substantially (which has been a problem in many areas of states). A speaker at the Salisbury Forum shared that likely the kind of learning the digitial world allows can assist students in more meaningful ways than a more traditional curriculum, yet the idea of  keeping buildings up and running likely makes sense. 

In Fairfield CT, Roger Ludlowe High School changed to serve various needs over the past few decades but is back to being a school again, with a large middle school next door. On a different note, policeman from Fairfield was featured at a Domestic Violence Vigil on the newly re-opened White Hart Inn green in Salisbury. The message that 10 men could tell 10 others about ways to prevent and address "dumb-mess-tick' violence is catching on (and has funding).

 I have spoken to CT DV leader( recently at a CT Peace Conference in Hartford),  Karen Jarmoc and offered we need something similar for Women to talk with other Women about this gender-based issue. The NPO (National Parents Organization) counters that well-researched fact with some counter points that maybe the real problems stem from women who initiate physical violence (and if they didn't throw a first punch or make some physical contact).

 NPO is fighting for shared parenting to be the 'main game plan' for ALL custody cases, with consequent 'balancing' of child or spousal support. Normally, every state has guidelines to determine the Most Beneficial Parent and Housing Pattern for Children without concern for the Parties ability to suppor the children necessarily. That would mean a 'breadwinner' would give more support to the caregiving parent if needed for the children's support. In reality, very few parents receive the full or even half the amount of child support ordered on a regular basis. The states can claim the support if a parent has received TANF (Tranistional Aid to Needy Families which is Cash Assistance).

That does not include having to pay back SNAP or Medicaid benefits (unless a person inherits a large sum or wins a lottery, etc). I am not an expert and am only summarizing such topics because they are not well covered for ALL Adults and Parents, and really for Teenagers as well who are the Future Adults and Parents who will be heavily strapped with the new laws as well as current practices. The Penalities vary hugely from state to state with many Family Law Matters. Again the chasm is as great as the Grand Canyon when it comes to Who Will Have to be Accountable for Caring for their Children if there is a Custody or Divorce Matter..and What the terms are if Neither Parent is involved in a  Custody or Divorce Matter. As for children who are in the care of the state, that is another growing area which is not well understood by most parties. The Children may become the experts simply by living though the reality of whatever is decided. Few states have ways and agencies to monitor families 'post-custody'.

In NY they have a Common Ground service and  a PEACE program which is about helping parents during and after transitions with custody issues.  There is not a national think-tank processing these topics beyond groups voluntarily being formed such as NPO (National Parents Assoc) and more importantly www.BarryGoldstein.net and www.lundybancroft.com. The comprehensive work from www.civicresearchinstitute.org provides critical insight into how to understand and address major breaks in key systems. The works on DV And Child Custody and Representing the DV Survivor could craft a new wave of insight and alliance about the ways to keep children 'Safe and Together' with their Mothers (if any of them are being abused, or if truly the case, with the protective male father, but that is typically a very small percentage.

Sixty thousand mothers lose custody of their children Every Year when they bring up concerns about abuse of themselves or of their children. It's not a functioning system based on 'best practices' but it's at least been identified by advocates for decades as a dire situation. The best way to prevent the problem is to educate all women and children and yes, the majority of men who are not part of the active problem yet who too often do not address this serious 'underground war' which unfortunately can leave all men 'somewhat suspect'. The typical profile of an abusive male is ''they may look an sound the part, or they may not! They could be the most criminal kind of guys, for instance the heinous pair who claimed the lives of the Petit family mother and daughters in CT (Josh was seeking custody of his own pre-teen daughter, which who knows what trauma she could have suffered, realizing how he sexually assaulted others.)

Another tragic case I've mentioned on this blog was a National Guard member with a college degree and highly competent. His revenge over discovering his wife cheating (and not telling him in counseling which was a final straw for him, not when literally finding out in person by mistake that she was with someone else, which again is something all 'dating or mating' partners have to accept 'they can never know for sure and should not Over-react with a sense of betrayal and hurt. Rather they could view that their partner likely has had many partners in the past or plans to and this process is not one they can or will 'control' in a more accepted way with ending one relationship before beginning another. Serial monogamy or serial relationships seems to be the accepted practice for the great majority of Americans and most peope in 'free countries'.

The various aspects of a person--physical body, age, gender, life patterns and activity (work, recreation,intellectual, social, emotional and spiritual and much more... such as place and history of family of origin and going back a few generations, moves and education, and goals in life and in one's area, state and country etc) can all impact a person's thinking and actions. Knowing that a lot of people Don't Know Why they Believe, think or act certain ways allows for some 'compassion or care, concern or comprehension' when they may seem lacking. That works for all of us. We sleep half (or a third anyway) of our lives away...where are we then? We get up each day thinking 'this is my life, this who  I am and my family and friends are...and how life works'. Then life happens according not only to what We Think and Want, but in terms of the Laws of the Lands, the Agreements we have made with the Options on the table and  what we've been doing 'up to that point in our lives'.

 We hardly have time to 'look back or look forward' yet much of how we live is based on a plan made by someone for us or by us a long time ago. If we feel we've been able to keep up with basic self-care, in touch with family and friends as well as gain work and life experience we probably feel life is going well. If we have lost touch with key parts of our lives or are trying to 'do too much of anything in the course of one day, a few days, weeks or years' we may feel stressed. That's where ironing out parts of the bigger picture (what do others in my life, area, work, faith, town and state) need or expect of me and what do I want to do and feel I can can reasonably  makes sense. We all have a life span of a certain physical length and then surprise, there may be more to our spiritual existence After we Die and we are not often led to consider that. How do our daily thoughts and energy impact our spirit and our being while alive and after we leave the physical earth plane? Again, these are topics in Metaphysics which I heard about briefly at Vassar College and learned 'we would not be talking about That!"

I want to note that I saw a picture of an event I planned when there called Feb 3rd with key questions "What do we like about Vassar? What could make it even better?" That weekend of raising Vassar Voices was to help everyone feel included and valued, with an open comment board and much more. That was a year after John IyoyaI did not take Religion but did go to church all of my life so have gleaned some insights from that...and in the last decade or so have done more reading on Edgar Cayce, Rudolf Steiner and other thinkers about karma, our energy fields, chakras and influence of sound, nature, healing thoughts and much more. A great relief to realize there may be a lot in the universe, even in the stars and planets, supporting us 'mere humans'.

Some say we are influencing them (That's the theory in Thinking and Destiny from www.thewordfoundation.org ). The idea of living many lifetimes and learning as though history evolving and unfolding with the same actors taking on new roles (and maybe  having talents or aversions to things based on previous lives and family groups and such) as well as making agreements about This Life Before we Get Here (yes, family, partner(s), children and more in our main social networks we come to life as part of...with spirits agreeing beforehand likely a long time in advance to join forces to learn spiritual lessons and balance karms--pay debts and so on) all come up as Options for how the world works.

We also are co-creating the reality that we get as we live it. So we are in a rather 'real-life, dream state'. Testing these ideas out by pretending as though children in a sand box playing a game is a simple way to 'try it and see what happens'. That's advice simlar to www.drsha.com who says if you want to see if a pear is sweet, taste it to see. I have asked friends to pretend that there is something after life for about a week...and see what comes to mind, who comes to mind (such a mindset can allow one to recall whose on the other side, people we've known particularly are who can Speak to Us in our Dreams or through signs and meetings, words, numbers and more that 'just mean something to us'.

Again, as though having a dream 'not everything had to make sense and maybe it will dawn on us later 'why we met someone named Golden or Skylar, Poppy or Lili (that's a friend whose like an angel who assured me I looked radiant (with my silver gray hair, aging graycefully as I am, and medium build) and was reflecting the glory of the season..and this was just when someone else had been rather direct with me to say I talk too much (who, me?) in terms of a few times and not getting to the point fast enough within a minute in a group setting so to Please Be Mindful of such things. I want to process that kind of situation I've had Many Times with Various People and Groups. While there are some similar practical helpful points, there is room for improving how someone shares 'constructive criticism' so the message can be received in a more harmonious way (and a harm-not-me-onious way too). Okay, so this was a huge amount of sharing, like the abundance of lovely hues of leaves dancng on the trees and blowing in the autumnal breezes.

The connections can be Yours for the Making when Asleep or Awaking (both special times to take slowly and keep eyes closed-ly while thinking great wondous thoughts..with a pen and notebook handy. For now, I would offer that the schools need to be  tended to on many levels. realizing this next generation of spirits is really called and likely answering a need in our world to help us become 'more filled with light and wisdom to handle these times on earth'. We need to learn to let go of what no longer serves US-All no matter what age or stage of life. Time may be short (as it turned out to be for out teen son responding to sudden danger to help his friend, who survived though Kaelan did not..see more on Remembering Kaelan and on the posts on this blog and online and youtube.)

Basically, it's a privilege to write freely and ponder 'what does all of this mean, realizing mine is but one life in a large family, in CT, in 2014 and now the greater immediate needs of more people to survive on many levels are discussed online, on NPR (National Public Radio) and other venues. We need more common soul-you-tions, more healing beings to help US-All share the plan-it Heart and keep the seasons of our lives and our times. We can live, learn and love (with time and space for personal care and time apart as needed short term or longer but Always with Clear PLANS for our children to be in out legal and physical care written in writing even if going away for a day ) in harmony with the Golden Mean (a way of balancing things in nature and design)

We can heed and develop awareness of  The Golden Rule (treating others the way you would like them to treat you) and the many Golden Rays of Light and Love that fill our souls and worlds with hope (yet another new one I met the other day while taking extra care to cross the street safely..hi sweetie pie with a nice mom and grandma out to lunch at two weeks of age!) Sweet dreams to ond and all, and strong clearn visions for health and well-being, forgiveness, peace and good will for all here, above and yet to come with thanks to the divine and all the world of which we are forunate to call and chant hOMe...(we are all one, not alone)...Peace...