Many of these posts are 'too long and complicated'. Please take your time as you need to, and read in sections. I may try to 'divide and conqure with with labelling them Part 1, 2, 3, etc with sub-headings (and summaries). I don't know all I will say until after I get going. I am an 'associative thinker' and feel it's a good skill others could allow themselves to explore.
Personal insights (or even those from others or in a group are lacking for similar reasons) are hidden from ourselves since we are often brainwashed, trained and otherwise kept from having frree time to think and play as